I just feel so depressed and suicidal all the time. I don't know what to do about it anymore. I've lost the only person that was there for me whenever I need him. He's not aloud to talk to me anymore. He was the only help I had, the only reason I held onto hope for so long. But now, without him, I can't go on. I don't even know if I'll make it to tomorrow. I'm dying to die, but praying for strength. I never know which side is stronger. One of my "friends" says that I might aswell end it. But my youth leader Steve, is constantly fighting this battle with me/for me , trying to pull me back into the light. He's all I have now, and I love him so much for staying here with me, him adn Ashlee, his wife. They've been here when I need them but recently, even their help isn't enough. Especially because they've been really distant lately.
If I could have a better life then I'd want to live, but I don't so I don't think I can go on. The only people I'd be sorry to leave behind, and that would care are Nathan (the one I can't talk to ) , Steve and Ashlee, Jacob and Jade . But mostly Nathan and steve and ashlee.
Please you guys, I need help, and fast. Any opinions, and help you can give...I really need it.