Unable to cry? -
April 24th 2010, 06:10 AM
I've noticed something: I can't cry. I haven't cried since... I don't even remember. It might have been when I told my mom I was feeling suicidal for the first time, but that was awhile ago, and I never actually started crying. I don't know why I can't cry, but it's getting to be a problem. When I'm having depression, there's this really horrible pain, but it's like--too deep. It's beyond the point of tears, if you get me. I want to cry, but it feels so strained. The pain is more angry, anxious, and despairing than anything.
I understand that crying is a healthy release of emotion, but now it just feels shallow and forced. I can't muster up enough sadness to cry no matter what I do. Because I can't cry, I've started self-harming to release the pain. I wish I didn't, but sometimes I feel so trapped and like it's the only way. And even then, I can't cry. It's so frustrating. I just want to let it all out. Has anyone ever experienced this? What do you think could be causing this? I do suffer from mild depression (at least, we think it's mild for now), but I've started taking St. John's Wort. Do you think that might help? Thanks in advance.