[out-of-ideas]

Well, yeah... as the title would conclude, I'm sorta grieving the loss of my grandmother, who is still alive, and NOT sick/near death. She is, however, losing her short term memory. It's extremely saddening when I get up to leave the room and when I come back she asks if I just got there. She'll ask the same question 2, 3, ...4 times. I don't see her that often, partly because I have little time, and mostly because it bothers me. It bothers me more that I DON'T see her as often as I should, and can.

But then I stumbled upon a song from my favorite band while shuffling through my ipod. Say My Name - Within Temptation. That really hit hard. I can't stop listening to it. It makes me think about her memory loss progressing (or potentially progressing to the point where she doesn't know who I am anymore). It then made me think of losing her. And now everytime I listen to it, I picture her funeral in my mind. I start hearing myself giving a eulogy. I cry. A lot, sometimes. I see myself at the funeral home, probably hysterically crying. In a beautiful dress, so that I look nice for her. I grieve the loss of her each and everytime I listen to the song. That, and another song by the same band, called Memories.

I don't exactly have a problem with it, I'm just worried that it is a problem. Or could turn into a problem.

Has anyone felt this way? Had this experience?