Hey Alex,
Have you talked to someone about this? If you haven't, I think it's best you do. If not your family or your mum, maybe a school counselor or a trusted teacher. I was just like you when I was your age and was terrified of talking to someone. However, with the support I got from my trusted friends and faculty members, I was able to talk to my school counselor. You can too. Talking to a professional can help you and figure out what's best for you in this situation.
I'm glad that you're coming here for help and that you recognize your situation and trying to fix it. It's a big step forward
