[Susurrous]

The best thing you could have right now is a friend. Someone to listen to you, and maybe not even give you advice. Just someone you can vent to. Even though I am a stranger, you can still confide in me.

People always evolve. Every day, we change. This change in her body is simply another phase, but whether she had cancer or not she could never return to her old body. None of us can. Energy never dies, and is always being stored in different particles in different forms. My point is that wishing for her to be healthy and fully healed will get you nowhere. You can't freeze time, and when you accept that as a natural fact of life, the process of cancer can seem much easier. You will both end up in the same place anyways.

I would also suggest talking to a professional, and medication or talking therapy would both help visibly reduce these OCD symptoms. Even in college there are people who can help, so don't feel like you are alone. I hope your anxiety gets better Alexx, really, you seem like an awesome person.