Hey there, Sorry to hear you are feeling like this, but I totally understand
It is a circle, you are exactly right...but you can break it and escape this. You are not alone. You need to believe that you can beat this, and you should feel proud about doing
sh free for even a few hours, never mind days!!! You can beat this, I promise.
Do you have any professional help?
We are all here to help you and I'm willing to listen if you want to talk to me x