Be the mirror image that you wish to see in others. When you are rude...that's the kind of people you are attracting into your life.
Like Ghandi said: "BE" the change you wish to see in the world."
"Like attracts Like" it is a simple universal rule. I "get it." I understand that you have put up your "rudeness" as your defence mechanism so you won't be hurt again but it doesn't sound like it has been working for you. So, when something isn't working...try another approach...you want to see kindness and kind people around you..."be" that kind and approachable person and when you feel someone is around you that may be taking advantage of your kindness...wish them well and let that friendship go. Don't wait until they have taken advantage of you so you can get mad and resent them...or be straight with them and let them know that you feel they are taking advantage of your kindness and you don't appreciate it and at that point you decide to if you want to continue the friendship or say BYE!
I used to think that the world was a horrible place and that it was full of greed and nasty people...then I changed my perception because I chose to notice the "good" in people, their thoughtfulness, their generosity and the people I chose to surround myself with changed~honestly!
It's quite apparent that you are not enjoying being rude...so make a conscious effort today to change your rudeness back to kindness. When you find or catch yourself going back to mistrust or someone is out to get me...just change your thoughts to how you do want people to treat you...with kindness, respect, etc...
I hope this helps!
