[escape_thereal_world]

Alright, so briefly, I've been sexually abused a few different times in my life. Last time was just over a year ago. All were very very close friends/family.

Anyways, reason for this thread is because suddenly, with no known trigger, I freak out when my boyfriend holds me. If we're kissing, I start to panic. When we're doing anything sexual, I hold my fear in until we're done then go to the bathroom and cry.

What the heck is going on? I'm not thinking about what happened to me. I just suddenly feel panicked around my boyfriend, but he shows no signs for a reason to be threatened.

Help?