[Emily.]

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear you have been hurt by those people in your life. I hope you know you didn't deserve any of it and it wasn't your fault.

Unfortunately, there's no time limit on how long past abuse can effect us. Sometimes people feel it's effects right away, sometimes it lays in wake for years, and still other times it simply comes and goes. There are a lot of reasons why this happens. Maybe now that you are in a safe and loving relationship, your mind feels safe enough to process what happened.

No matter the reason, though, the best thing to do is to talk and get support. Tell your boyfriend what's going on with you and if you start to feel that way while being with him, tell him you need to stop. If he cares about you, he'll understand.

I agree with Ashley about it being a good idea to go and talk with a counselor about what's going on. You deserve support through this and a therapist can really help us to work through things in our lives.

It might also help you to try some different grounding techniques when you start to panic. Good articles on this can be found here and here.

I hope you're doing okay right now. Be good to yourself and if you ever need to talk you can always PM me.
<3 Emily