[Ella.x]

One of my friends isn't talking to me at the moment because I was horrible to her and the other one lives 180 miles away. Neither of them know how to deal with me when I get like this so it's easier to just not tell them so they don't worry. It took me 3months to find my last job and I can't afford my rent if I don't find another one soon. this isn't an impulsive decision. I've been thinking about it more and more frequently for years. I've had a couple of nights to sleep on it and I still want to kill myself. The only question is how and where to do it as I don't want my housemates to be the ones to find my dead body. I'm sorry for wasting everyone's time.