I met my therapist yesterday after I decided I didn't want to recover, but I know I can't keep this way, it kills my parents to see me like this. Well, after she checked my weight, she told me if I was going to act like this, then I'd be sent to hospital. I'm terrified, my parents are, yet again, mad at me, and my mum told me I was just a problem. It hurt me so bad. Thing is, how is my therapist supposed to help me if everytime I get there she scares me away? I don't want to die, I don't want to lose my school year because of hospital, I don't want to gain weight, I don't want to eat (I know I have to) I don't want to disappoint my parents, I don't want to be here, paralysed because I don't know what to do because I fear of everything, I don't want to be a problem to anyone...
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Therapist hasn't even given me a plan or anything to stick to, she keeps making me panic about hospital, and that doesn't help.
I'm so terrified that I can't think about anything at the moment, I need some advice, what to do for myself, please.