I mean, I didn't want to recover but I went to see my therapist in order to come back to recovery so I want it now, but not in hospital, not there

I ty to have 3 meals with 2 snacks, but even so it's still very low in calories, like less than half of a person daily required amount. thing is I can't eat more than this, otherwise it comes up right back, and that's even worse.
I don't know what to do, I'm all weak and dizzy all the time