Thread: Need help.
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ShyWolfie Offline
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Name: Blue
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Ireland

Posts: 14
Join Date: November 22nd 2010

Need help. - November 22nd 2010, 07:50 AM

I guess i was told about this by my doctor and decided to try it out.

I have been very depressed for the past number of years and hidden it alot so no one worries about me. When it gets really bad sometimes i don't even know what the cause is, i will just feel very down and my usual thing i do when i'm feeling like that is hide. I hide when i can no longer put on my "happy face".

Life has gotten significantly worse in the past 3 months, i don't even know where to begin, first off my mother was there for me since the day i asked for her help and 3 months ago she got sick of me hurt me more then i can bare to think and abandoned me and kicked me out onto the street with nothing. Luckily enough my father took me in or else i don't know where i'd be right now. I trusted my mother so much and she did this to me and i don't understand why. I mean she is known to get sick of things, but it hurt that she got sick of me when all i ever did was try my best for her, i lived my life to please her and get her approval and do everything in my power to make her happy and she broke me in the end. Anyone i have talked to about this hasn't really been able to say much to me they just curse my mother off thinking it what i want to hear but i don't really know what i want to hear, for the past week i have been sleepless, everynight that i do sleep i have severe and very real nightmares that really frighten me. I talked to someone about it and they said it is probably because i want to tell someone something, there is someone i want to tell something but i do not feel it is right. I want to tell my mother i hate her for doing this to me, for leaving me alone without a care in the world after all i ever wanted to do was make her happy and proud. I guess the story goes on as i have felt very suicidal every now and then, i just don't see the point in living anymore everything is too hard. I have doctors telling me im sick and they have me on medication, so i've got to the point where im putting on a happy face for them to cause if i don't they'll put me on something that will make me a vegetable and i don't want to live like that. I don't know what else to do, I'm asking for someone to help me or at least help me straighten out all these crappy thoughs that plague me and prevent me from sleeping. I cry everynight in my bed for hours wishing someone would find me and hug me and tell me its all gonna be ok but no one ever comes. Anyway i don't want to chew anyones ear off....kinda just wanted to get all this off my chest. If anyone has any advice for me i'd appreciate it.