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Digilodger Offline
Establishing My Digital Home
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Age: 28
Location: USA

Posts: 528
Join Date: January 6th 2011

Re: Boyfriend found my Livejournal. - March 15th 2011, 07:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Constance~ View Post
I understand all of that... but looking up information when in the middle of the arguement isn't the BEST thing to do.
Okay, look at it this way:

When we are within an argument, sometimes we lose our tempers and become unnecessarily harsh.

Example: The harsher tone that I used in my previous post. It was definitely a harsher tone; I am sorry for that. While the idea remains true, I definitely could have said them in a more civilized tone.


After the conflict, he wanted to have a second look at your opinion, but obviously he can't, since he couldn't remember very well all that you have said.


So he looked through the internet, hoping to see if you have vented your rage somewhere. This could go three ways:
1. Bad ending: If you add salt and some spices into the story to make it seems like you were clearly the one in the right and he is clearly in the wrong, then he would get really pissed.

2. Bad ending: If you act like a Saint and take all the blames on yourself, then he probably would get a bit arrogant and could either become more of an a** hole (excuse my language) or become softer/nicer (empathetic)--depending on his personality.

3. Good ending: If you told the story truthfully and pointed out that both sides--you and him--had some problems and where the problems are, then a mutual understanding might emerge. He would rethink the matter and decide to (secretly, because of his pride) accept part of your view.


But you didn't write anything. He said, "Oh crap, not Livejournal, and she didn't talk about it with her friends either."


Then you found out about how he searched Google for you and went lioness-eat-prey at him (you attacked him for google searching you); he refused to stand down and went tiger-defending-mountain back at you (he refused to admit that as "snooping" and tried to justify himself).

Neither of you listen to each other. So this has resulted in another volcano eruption before the first one has a chance to calm down.



My suggestion? Don't assume another person's intention by deducing from your own would-be intentions. How about get him to join TeenHelp so we all can have a talk? That would solve at least 50% of the problems



Last edited by Digilodger; March 15th 2011 at 08:05 PM.