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Name: Robin
Age: 31
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Location: Southern California

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Re: My best friend hates me. - April 30th 2011, 12:21 AM

I know it's hard to control yourself when you're angry/upset... but personally, if one of my friends called me a b*tch, or anything along those lines, I probably wouldn't be friends with them anymore. You know why? Because no matter how angry/upset someone is, I truly do believe that they can remain in control of themselves. Some people can't - they have anger management problems, or behavioral problems, or they might be under the influence of alcohol/drugs - but the average person should be able to stop themselves from saying those hurtful words. So when you say, "it's how I am", that sends the following message to your friend: you are either refusing to control yourself (which implies you have a choice), or you're denying that you have a problem and aren't seeking help for it.

At this point, I honestly don't know if anything you say or do will make a difference. You have to be willing to admit you made mistakes - that's the first step. The second step is to change - both for your sake and your friend's sake. That takes time AND effort. Waiting around for five months won't get you anywhere. The best way to show your friend that you've changed, and that you're worthy of her friendship again, is to move on with your life and treat the people around you with love and respect, regardless of what may be stressing you out. If you change and approach your friend afterward, giving her time to observe you and asking her to reconsider her stance once she's seen the improvement in your behavior, then she may decide it's worth taking a chance with you again. She won't do that if she's afraid you'll just hurt her again, though. Saying "sorry" isn't always enough. You need to SHOW you're sorry as well, and that it won't happen again. Basically, you shouldn't have to say "sorry" for making the same mistake twice.