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Name: Emily
Gender: Female
Location: somewhere ;)

Posts: 344
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: February 16th 2009

Not What I Expected - March 2nd 2009, 01:54 AM

Well, my mom's in one of those "have to go to church" phases. Honestly, I thought this was good at first. I thought, maybe this means less drinking? Maybe she'll actually do laundry again? There were a lot of maybe's going through my mind, but the main one was the less drinking.
I think that was hopeful wishing.
I was told to organize my clothes multiple times today and I figured, "Yay! Finally! Clean clothes!" But it's about 8 hours later and my clothes are in the three different piles she asked me to put them in earlier.
I asked her while she was making dinner if there was enough time for me to shower. She said yes, so I showered. I got out, and everything went as normal. I was still thinking hopefully, that she wasn't as drunk as normal and all. But when we sat down to start eating she had forgotten to finish the mashed potatoes. So she went and finished them and gave them to us. (Note: She's on a diet, where in this "phase" she isn't "allowed" to have carbohydrates) She came in and sat down with the saddest look on her face and continuously said, "I screwed up so much. I had mashed potatoes" and started talking about how much of a failure she is and all. Her boyfriend and I kept our mouths shut because anything we could possibly say would be wrong and have her mad at us for the rest of the night. I also realized at this point how drunk she was and that going to church hadn't helped at all.
After dinner, she left (by herself) to go tanning because she "has to" go tanning every night. The tanning place is not far from here, and she was gone for an hour. After coming back, she came into my room, freaking out because she didn't believe that I had showered earlier.
I guess the whole reason for this "rant" is because I'm so tired of this. I just want it to be over with. I don't care what has to happen. I don't want to have to deal with the drinking, having to worry all the time and getting in trouble for not doing something that I definitely did. I just... I don't know.

This is how it ends
We believe every lie & say we'll still be friends
How long will it last
Before we scratch all the scripts & rework the casts
*Hourglass by the Hush Sound*

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