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Name: Jessi
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Eastern Tennessee

Posts: 1,323
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Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Feelings for my rapist- is this normal? - August 13th 2011, 08:36 AM

Mariah,

What you went through was terrible and traumatic, and no one should ever have to endure that kind of pain. However, remember that you are STRONG, you can get through this. Stay close to friends who can help support you during this period of healing; love and support will get you through, isolation will lengthen the time it takes to overcome this.

From what you have described here, I would say that, yes, what you are experiencing is normal. You spent a large portion of your life communicating with this person; you cared for him. Feelings like that do not just "go away", even when that person does something so horrific. Missing him and wanting to initiate contact is part of the grieving period. That does not mean that it is a good idea to speak with him again; that, more than anything, will hinder you in your healing.

The best thing to do with these feelings, I have found, is to sit with them, feel them. Let them run their course. Talk to your loved ones about what you are experiencing; write, self-reflect. But do not, by any means, let him back in to your life. As you grieve this loss of trust, it will become more and more clear that you are far better off without him in your life. Give it time.

If you would ever like to talk, feel free to contact me. My PM box is always open.

With hope,
Jessi


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"For the first time
in a long time,
I can say that I wanna try.
I feel helpless for the most part,
but I'm learning to open my eyes.
And the sad truth of the matter is,
I'll never get over it,
but I'm gonna try
to get better and overcome each moment
in my own way"

Motion City Soundtrack, "Even If It Kills Me"
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