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Ella.x Offline
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Name: Ella
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 1,461
Join Date: February 24th 2009

Re: Borderline Personality Disorder. - August 23rd 2011, 12:42 PM

Thanks guys. I'm really struggling today as it's my first day off work in like 3 weeks, so I don't have much to distract myself with. I actually feel like I'm going crazy right now. My mind is all over the place and the urge to hurt myself is overwhelming. It's midday and I've just started drinking to try and dull my mind. I can't be patient anymore. I don't want to wait another 10-20 years just for my symptoms to ease off. I've decided that if there is no improvement over the next few months, I am going to kill myself on my 21st birthday. I have just over 8 months to plan it right down to the smallest detail. I am going to join the 10% of people with BPD who successfully commit suicide. I am going to be selfish. I am fed up. I don't want to be a pain in the arse anymore.