[Stargazed.]

I'm so scared of leaving you here while I move an hour and a half away. I'm scared you're going to resort back to drugs and ruin your life while I'm enjoying my time at college and making money for our future and completing degrees to help me get the future I want.

Mom, I know you think "letting go" is the answer. You always say that. But you never tell me how. How do I let go? How can I just let it all go? HOW?!

J, been thinking about you. You're in basic training now. Not like I care. Every thought I think about you is terrible and I don't wanna think it. Pretty much what I think about is the last act of abuse. You looking me in the eyes and holding me as tight as you could. You said that you'd kill me and then kill yourself so we can be with our baby girl. Those words haunt me every f*cking day. I never told anyone about it because very few people know about our daughter. I hate you. I hate what you did to me. I hate who I am because of you.