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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. -
November 15th 2011, 08:19 PM
I've never cried as much, bled as much or had as dark of thoughts as I have these past seven months, so tell me, why should I let you back in just because you miss me? Hayley talked to you, you told her that if gaining our forgiveness means swallowing your pride and sobbing at our feet, you'll do it. I want you back in my life so much, I miss you so much. But because of you I craved words of hate into my leg and the scars will forever taunt me over my weakness. Because of you I've wanted to die countless times, but I couldn't because I can't leave Hayley alone. Because of you I've stayed up nights at a time, sobbing, trying to figure out what I could have said or done differently that would have changed the outcome of that fight. I want to bring you back into my life, I want to call you my sister and my best friend once again, but I don't think I ever can. You broke me, shattered me into thousands of pieces and I'm finally starting to put myself back together after almost eight months. I'm finally starting to feel numb instead of upset when I think of you or see something that reminds me of you. I can't put myself at risk of this again, because if this happens again I will kill myself. The pain you put me through was more than any human should ever have to bear alone and I did. I finally have started to begin feeling again, I can't let you back in.
I'm so sorry Bethany.
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