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Name: Robin
Age: 31
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Re: Friend trouble, please help... - February 23rd 2012, 11:28 PM

They may be similar in many ways, but I'm sure they're also different in some fundamental ways (aside from gender). Why? Because your friend is not your crush. She is a unique person. She is not simply a female clone of your crush. I know that you know that, but it may help to tell yourself that over and over again, finding ways in which she's different and unique as a person.

I would also focus on gaining closure with your crush. Do you feel he is unattainable because you've never asked him how he feels about you, or is he unattainable because he's in a relationship/told you he wasn't interested in the past? If there is still some uncertainty (because you've never actually talked to him about the possibility of dating), then TALK TO HIM. If you know it will never be possible to date, though, you need to start letting go of this idealized image of the perfect boyfriend and accept there will be other fish in the sea. Yeah, he's probably amazing, and you'd probably be happy with him. There's no reason why you couldn't find someone else who would be equally (if not more) amazing, who would make you equally (if not more) happy than he would.

So there are two components to resolving this issue. One is to see your friend as separate from your crush, and the other is to resolve your feelings for your crush. It's not going to be easy, but the sooner you can start working on all of this, the better. =) Good luck!