[Dr.Bobby]

I think you should talk more with the doc about all this.

However, I can provide some info about the questions you've asked.

"Flat affect" refers to how it looks to us, on the outside. Not how you experience it on the inside. We know it's often tumultuous in there! One of the ways the mind reacts to that is to shut down the avenues of expression. So it looks 'Flat'.

If you're hearing voices, the meds will really help take those away! Actually, a lot of the other symptoms you have that are really bothersome to you (the agitation, the inability to sometimes think clearly or understand things like others do) will be minimized a lot, too. The newer meds really do quiet the storm, they don't change who you are, they change the things that get in the way of who you are.

Talk more with the doc and if s/he uses a lot of terms that you don't understand or agree with, stop him and ask for a fuller explanation.

Good luck!