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Dr.Bobby Offline
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Re: Boyfriend asked me for sex... we're only 13... - April 7th 2012, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by Dr.Bobby View Post
Such is the internet, it's a first for me to be called ludicrous. Especially when my statements are based on a bit more than conjecture or personal experience! I think you're justifying your experience with a bit of rationalization and then adding a pinch of bad science there to support what you've done.

13 is at the very beginning of puberty. The OP is a girl, and especially for a 13 year old girl and given the way sex works, she's not ready. The physical parts involved with sex are in all probability under developed, and so are the emotional ones. The results here are usually not good, I hear a lot from people (of all ages) who have had early sex, and based on how unsatisfactory it most often by far more related to sexual (and relationship) dysfunction than anything else, surely not "Waiting", at least until puberty is far enough along so everything works properly...and there's a bit of emotional maturity in place to help deal with the many emotions that inevitably occur with sex.

The OP is obviously free to choose as she wishes, however, if she wants a perspective based on experience with other kids who have done what she is contemplating, the overwhelming data supports waiting.
Originally Posted by Sythan View Post
I state by scientific fact.

Not true. Every persons body can begin and end puberty differently, regardless of age. Studies done by universities in India have shown girls as young as 8 starting puberty. Are you sure I'm the one using bad science?

That's not your call to make. I began having sex at the same age, how was I any more ready than she was?

Once again, you assume they are under developed, you don't know for certain. She may be more emotionally ready for sex than a 20 year old, we don't know.

First time sexual experiences are terrible, no matter if you're 13 years old or 23 years old. Having sex for the first time is a terrifying experience. Speak to someone who waited, they'll say it was unsatisfactory just like the teenagers. Very few people have an amazing first time sexual encounter.

And yes, scientific studies do back up my claim that waiting to end-stage teens or beyond to have sex can lead to the persons to have a greater chance of sexual dysfunction.

May I see an example of such data?

Nick, I'm going to quote myself here b/c I think there's a bit more at stake for the OP, and I don't want your self righteousness to interfere with actual fact.

You can believe what you will, even if it is wrong. However, let me remind you that the information I offer is based on 30 years of clinical practice. Your experiences are most relevant to yourself, they should not be generalized as fact for others. Based on everything the OP has said, and based on how 13 year old sex typically works out, the OP would do best to wait.

If you need to continue this, PM me. You're off track here this thread is not between you and me.

PM me with the link of the post you'd like me to respond to.