Hello Ceilidh,
sounds as though things haven't been all that easy for you at the moment. Sorry to hear that, but I'm sure things will get better soon.
Guess what - I don't drink either! This might seem like a pretty high obsticle to overcome, and with our society's love of partying/pubs/alcohol that's hardly surprising.
But - good news - there are plenty of people like you everywhere! Pubs aren't the be all and end all of life, after all. Quite often, teetotalism can be almost like a 'filter' in terms of socialising: for instance, if you were blatantly honest with your friends, then no doubt they would either distance themselves from you, or else accept that you're teetotal and strive to find things to do away from the pub. It may seem rather harsh, but if they don't see the true you, then they aren't really your friends. But trust the golden oldies when the tell you not to be pressured into anything that you are not comfortable with - your pals might seem a bit annoyed at first, but you'll be respected more in the long run.
Try taking the bus/train/bike or even a walk to see your friend five miles away - even just once a month, fortnight or week adds up to something, doesn't it?
As for your friend in England, you could give them a phone call or perhaps even write an old fashioned pen and paper letter for fun!
Perhaps your friend in New Zealand has moved on somewhat since you were close, or maybe she finds Facebook a little to informal. Lots of people like one to one contact - try emailing, and if there's still no luck, it might be time to let her go. Plenty more fish in the sea, they say - and dispite the cliche, they were right! So don't give up just yet!
Make sure you keep in contact with Catherine and Kim when you finish your courses - try exhanging phone numbers, emails, and remember the hand written letter for a bit of humour!
This may sound a bit geeky, or nerd-ish, but give evening classes a go! These are a great way of making friends and honing a new skill. There's loads of options to try, too, such as various dance classes, yoga, pilates, aerobics, art classes, local choirs and sometimes things like gardening groups - not as sad as it sounds! Even if you don't manage to make any companions here, you'll have learned a new skill and have a brand new talent to add to the list. Nothing ventured, nothing gained (my personal motto) after all.
I find that, personally, socialising is a learning curve that can take donkey's years to perfect (my dad just got it, and he's fifty!), and if you learn to live happily without friends, then when one (or more!) come along, it'll be an added bonus.
Don't let loneliness get you down, there really is great joys in life that come with solitude - I became a semi-professional author with spending time alone - so it can be a blessing! You could discover something new...you never know.
I run an email service where anyone interested in writing of any kind can give me a message and I can tutor them via email to hone their skills as a writer (you won't make friends, but you'll have fun!) and give them confidence and a qualtiy learning experience. And it's free - the tutoring, the knowledge, the acheivement! Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
Just email me at:
lydiajefferies@googlemail.com to get started - anyone can do this, no matter how much experience they've had. Hope to hear from you soon, Ceilidh!
By the way - where's Godric's Hollow? I love the name!
Best wishes and hope to hear from you,
Lydia Jefferies
Semi-professional author and assosiate HelpLink mentor