First and foremost, welcome to TeenHelp.
You need to calm yourself down. Having all of these undecided feelings are not healthy. Do you have a hobby? Drawing, writing, exercising, singing? You need something to mediate yourself. If it seems that things aren't going the way you want them to, just take a few moments and do something you enjoy doing. I do not want you to have a panic attack of anything of that sort.
Accepting your marijuana addiction is already a good first step. But what I can't seem to understand is you say your addiction keeps flip flopping. It seems the initiative to stop the addiction is there, but relapse is bound to happen. Wether you decide to go into rehab is your decision.
Maybe understanding that many jobs drug test for marijuana. If you continue habitual marijuana use, finding a part time job whilst going to school might be an issue.
In addition, stop comparing yourself to others. Just because person A and person B is doing that, doesn't mean you should. If these people aren't friends and family who truly care about you, who gives a shit?
You have a big list of priorities that you need to solve and sort out for yourself. At the end of the day, you are an adult. You are responsibile for your own choices. You don't have to do anything that you don't wish to do, but just remember unwise choices will come back to haunt you.
I myself was a marijuana user. But I noticed the people I would toke with are homeless hippies, in jail, or they are drifters.
If you make six figures, have a nice lifestyle and career, it seems they can smoke whenever they want. But with you being young, maybe you should really think about this addiction.
If you have any questions please reply or send me a
pm.