Everglow. Offline

I do know it, and I'm thankful for it every single day! Makes me feel so much better. I thought things were improving. I spoke to them about it and they were really worrried and supportive and all that, but well, I haven't had the strength to implement change, with myself at least. I try to be a lot more cheerful, but on some level, I just feel like no one really cares anymore. It's a disgusting feeling and I absolutely hate it, because I get so attached to people. It bugs me that I can't do squat about it. Well, I can, but I'm not able to, and I just don't know how to talk to them about it. And my birthday's up, in about half a month, and I don't even feel like doing anything at all, even with them. Nothing's cheering me up really these days Holl, and I don't know how to handle it. I left all of this behind, maybe 5 years back, and I've forgotten how to deal with it, and it's killing me. I just don't know what to do. I'm clueless. I want to cry, but, I've turned too numb to bring my feelings out into the open, even to myself, because I'm scared of the intensity.

I'm in the middle of my tests too, and I'm trying to drown myself with the amount of work I have, and I still feel empty. I don't know what to do, Holl. I'm, well, to put it plainly, just lost.