I am fast giving up on life right now. I don't see the point i can't take much more. It seems like everyone is out to get me. I'm on the edge and there all chanting me to jump. Well why don't i? I have stayed dtrong for me but i'm not worth this anymore. Everyone just keeps telling me what a selfish wast of space i am....so i calved selfish bitch into my arm. Just to remind me. I know i'm stupid and horrible and worthless. I don't need to be told i wish they would just get off my case for once ...

I stopped cutting. I brought the knife back downstairs and into the kitchen where it belongs. But now I feel like crying. It's a bitter-sweet victory...

Okay. So today was an amazing day! School was great. Home was great. Dinner was great. Shaq is great! I talked to him on the phone for like 3 hours & did not ONCE argue. I babysat my little one year old cousin, and everything was just so....wonderful. Then, my "other mom" called and told me that her daughter (my former friend) had another "miscarriage". She faked one about two months ago and expected me not to get mad after KNOWING I had a miscarriage on Easter of last year....