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Rape and Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused in any way and you need support or advice, don't hesitate to reach out to us here.

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Is going to the police really always the best thing to do after rape? - May 31st 2011, 04:49 PM

I was raped over a year ago. I was so drunk i hardly remembered it. And i never went to the police, as SUCH a small number men in rape cases get convicted that i didnt really see the point of putting myself through that for nothing. Plus there were other factors in it like bringing my friends into it to testify. Plus because i was so drunk i often wonder if i had encouraged it, i do remember saying no a couple of times and trying to get him to stop, but i have massive gaps in my memory.

Point is, is it always best to go to the police? Or in some cases is it better to just focus on moving on?
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Re: Is going to the police really always the best thing to do after rape? - May 31st 2011, 07:44 PM

yes you should because you said no and that is enough to say that you didnt want him doing what he was doing you still have a case
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Re: Is going to the police really always the best thing to do after rape? - June 1st 2011, 02:53 AM

Hey,

I believe that going to the police is a very good idea in cases where you where either raped/abused or you believe that you may have been raped/abused. If you are unsure, the police will investigate the case for you and find out the truth. It's their job to do things like that. Even though not all rapists get convicted, it is important to get as many of them convicted as possible so that they can't rape anyone else. I am a huge advocate of people going to the police after rape/abuse/possible rape/possible abuse.

Take care,
Kitty.
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Re: Is going to the police really always the best thing to do after rape? - June 1st 2011, 02:55 AM

I would say yes. If not for yourself, then for someone who may be unlucky enough to become the next victim.


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Re: Is going to the police really always the best thing to do after rape? - June 1st 2011, 06:07 AM

Hey-

I'm actually just dealing with this and trying to decide a lot of these questions for myself.

The best advice I've gotten, is that it brings closure or something. Like, at least I did something? I have not done something before in the past, and the result wasn't fantastic, so I figured I'd try this way.

Not many people do get convicted. And it's a long process. Another thing I've noticed, is you have to make sure that it's not emotionally going to hurt you more going through the process than the rape itself. I was actually told by a victims advocate that "You will talk to more people than you've ever talked to about personal things in your life".

But, at the end of the day, I say it's the best option. But, sometimes there may be exceptions, but the risk is always worth it I think.

And, literally like, I was drunk when things happened last weekend, and I DID encourage it sometimes when I was intoxicated, but before that I had said no. Legally, you can not consent to sex when you are intoxicated, so it is illegal. It still hurts, and it's still not okay for someone to take advantage of you.

Let me know if you ever need anything. =)
Maria.



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Re: Is going to the police really always the best thing to do after rape? - June 1st 2011, 01:35 PM

I think you should. Even if you are ok to put it behind you and move on, you might regret your decision later and want to know exactly what happened. By alerting the police it could strengthen someone else'e case if he did it again and they also reported it. Also if you are able to have him convicted it sends out the message that it isn't ok to do that to someone.
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