Triggering (ED): Neighbours treat me badly about food delivery

[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]I have been struggling with food in general and weight. I don’t have a good relationship with food. I don’t have a good relationship with my body.

Some days I eat normally; my normal is typically twice or three times a day - typically twice a day. I don’t snack either. On the other days I eat once a day.

When I say “eat” it’s literally buying a drink and chocolate bar to get me to actual food in a few hours. Which to me equals eating twice.

I am not home often enough; I am and can make food and have done so. When I am working long days and get home I have ordered something in as all I had was fluids.

It’s difficult to eat in general, not because I am working, I am not hungry. I am having more issues with food. I already use laxatives here and there. I am being shamed and being made fun of for ordering food in by neighbours, I barely do.

When I am waiting in the lobby or outside they assume I am there waiting for food delivery. One late evening I did order as I did not eat that day and the day before I barely ate; they came in and shamed me. They threw coupons that were in the ground at me and was told to use them.

When I returned back with my order; I cried before I could even eat something. I ended up throwing half of it in the garbage and just feeling guilty.

It happened today, only that I wasn’t waiting for delivery and I was asked twice and I said no both times.

I am almost close to telling them off and never interact with me again. Today, I cried again and it wasn’t even about food. I was somehow chastised on it for waiting outside.

It’s gotten to the point that I am careful what food I bring home or items. I am scared of being put down. It’s making it worse for me. I am not sure what to do.[/size]

[Ennui.]

There's no shame in ordering food to eat. Nourishment is nourishment, whether you make it yourself or order it. The important thing is that you're getting something in your stomach. Not everyone has the time, the physical or mental energy, or just the resources to cook their own food, and ordering food is an alternative to that. You're doing what you need to do for your body and to take care of yourself.

Honestly I wouldn't blame you if you did tell your neighbors off for this! Maybe next time they start to chastise you for ordering food you can firmly remind them that what you do for food is none of their business and you would appreciate it if they worried about themselves only. What you do with your money is your business and yours alone. Tell them that if they continue to make comments like this you will not be interacting with them in the future. They don't sound like the type of people who are worth interacting with anyway unless it is something relevant to being your neighbor.

If they continue to make these comments after you firmly tell them not to, I'd try not to respond to them. Maybe they are feeding off of the fact that you are responding to them and they know that they are upsetting you. If you consistently don't answer them maybe they'll start to get bored with the whole thing since they're no longer getting that reaction.

You deserve to eat, no matter how you get that food into you. You deserve to eat whether it's a freshly cooked meal or ordered from your favorite restaurant. Honestly, it's great that you're ordering food because it means you're eating at all, especially on the days where it feels impossible to do so. You're worth it.

[Rika]

Hey there

Thanks for writing on the TH Forums about this. I understand how it is ordering food delivery. I do it a bit too often myself. My neighbors fortunately never say a word or talk to us often. As said above, no shame in ordering out. I do it quite often myself more than I should.

I too wouldn't blame telling your neighbors off for this. It's not their concern or business, and they need to mind their own. I too suggest not replying or interacting when they make comments or say anything. Maybe they will grow tired of no response and stop. You deserve to eat even if it is takeout from a delivery service.

[Ambedo.]

I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this! Getting food in your body is so important, no matter how you do it. There is definitely no shame in ordering food, whether you do it once in a blue moon or multiple times a week. As Dez stated, not everyone has the time, mental bandwidth, or resources to make food at home. You mentioned struggling with eating in general, so I want to commend you for making the choice to order food in the instances that you do, rather than going without.

I also wouldn't blame you for telling your neighbors off for their behavior. Things such as what another person chooses to eat and where that food comes from isn't anyone else's business. If this happens again, you can definitely tell them that your decision to order food is your own and that you don't owe anyone an explanation for it. You can also use this opportunity to tell them that you will no longer be engaging with them when they make comments about what you choose to eat and/or how you spend your money. If they continue the behavior beyond that, it's definitely okay to stop all interactions with them, unless it is absolutely necessary.

You deserve to eat, whether that food is home-cooked or ordered from a restaurant that you enjoy. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!