Triggering: Getting out of hand

[Mindfulness.]

My anxiety is slowly getting out of control. I've become obsessed over the things that I should have accomplished by now, such as being a fully qualified teacher and starting a family. I'm 32 and there are people out there that are a lot younger than me that have already done these things. I know everyone experiences things at different times in their lives and I understand that. But I still can't be kind to myself. It's consumed me. Yet, I've never been a maternal person. I've known since a young age that having children wasn't something that I longed for. I've wanted to be a teacher, travel, own a house and get married. But not have children.

I also have lost touch with quite a few individuals who I once called friends. They were even guests at my wedding. But I realised that I was the one always initiating the conversations and I wished I figured that out earlier. So now, there has been no contact with a lot of them. I do have a small group of friends which I am grateful for but even then, our group chat has become less frequent. I only have kept really contact with my parents. I've isolated myself from a lot of people due to the fear of being triggered which has become daily.

I'm trying so hard not to compare myself with others and my journey through life but it's getting harder and harder as each year goes past. I don't know why this has become such a big problem for me but I guess there really is no answer for why mental health happens in the first place.

[Arabesque- golfing girl.]

Hello, I am sorry about what you have been going through and hope that you will be okay soon. Can you try talking to someone who you trust about all of this so that they can help you? Try not to be too hard on yourself you have a lot going on. Try finding a little time for yourself and do something fun and then ask to talk to someone when you have time. Sending you lots of to help you to feel better.