Shit high school

[BLUE123]

My problems are really stupid compared to all of yours but i really need help .

3 years ago...
Hated myself . Felt unimportant and useless . Very reserved and silent . Always took myself and life way too seriously . Wasted all my childhood studying instead of having fun ( i blame my mom for it . She was a control freak ) . Was overweight . Highly sensitive . Took everything personally . No friends , no one wants to sit with me . Boring person . But , i took the oath to change....

Present...
Don't hate myself much . Lost weight . Emotionless . Not so boring . Changed everything about myself . Got over my low self esteem , and low confidence but i still find it hard to talk to boys , i have no idea why . I am not shy anymore but still . And i suck at group discussion and stuff unless i know each person present personally . I am very good at making new friends...problem is with the people who used to be in my class 3 years ago .

[Eternal]

Your problems are not stupid, and you shouldn't compare them to what others are going through. Your feelings are always valid, and it's okay if even small things make you upset. However, could you be a little more clear about what kind of advice you'd like to receive? What are some of the bigger challenges in your life right now that you need some help with? I can give general advice with what you've listed but if I get more details I can make my advice more personal and in turn, more helpful.

Hey, Athena.

Your problems are not stupid at all. Everyone has their own problems and they shouldn't be compared because those problems still affect them to some extent, therefore, those problems matter too. So never be afraid to reach out here because you feel like a problem is "too small" or "stupid", okay?

Sounds like you were struggling a lot 3 years ago. I'm sorry you dealt with all of that but I'm really glad that a few things have improved since then such as your confidence and self esteem for example. Seems like you're doing a lot of things right and you should keep that up. Although, can I ask what you mean by "emotionless"? Do you feel numb? When you struggle with certain things, it's a good idea to let yourself feel those emotions even if they hurt. Then go from there in finding healthy and helpful outlets/solutions to resolving those feelings. Do you have many outlets and ways to express yourself? Journaling and creative hobbies can allow you to do this.

As for having trouble talking to others, you say that you aren't shy so that isn't what is preventing you from talking to others but could it help to practice conversing with different people? Particularly people in your class you don't personally know so that you can improve on social skills. That is probably really hard for you, but the more you take part in these discussions and make efforts to talk to others, it'll help you ease out of your comfort zone and improve social skills. With people you find it difficult to talk to, you could introduce yourself, ask them how they are and ask questions about themselves. Just listen, you know? Respond to what they say, share similar experiences of yours etc. At first it'll probably be hard, but socialization can become easier with practice for some. Also, can I ask what the problem is with the people who used to be in your class 3 years ago? Are they mistreating you now?

[BLUE123]

how to be less reserved ? how to open up with people ? How to interact with people better ?

@ Nala
I don't love anything or anyone . I just can't . Whenever i get attached to something or someone , i let go . That's what i meant by 'emotionless' . And i end up making everyone who loves me hate me .

About the people in my class 3 years ago , they don't mistreat me . They are all good . I Dunno why but i pretend like i can't see them . I think it's just my stupid attitude .

Originally Posted by BLUE123

how to be less reserved ? how to open up with people ? How to interact with people better ?

@ Nala
I don't love anything or anyone . I just can't . Whenever i get attached to something or someone , i let go . That's what i meant by 'emotionless' . And i end up making everyone who loves me hate me .

About the people in my class 3 years ago , they don't mistreat me . They are all good . I Dunno why but i pretend like i can't see them . I think it's just my stupid attitude .

Well, firstly I think it's quite great that you want to change this and be more open with people. That's a healthy thing.

Did anything in particular cause you to become this way when it comes to your feelings? By that, I mean letting go when you get attached, not being able to open up and often being reserved. It may be helpful to figure out why you once began doing this to tackle the problem directly. Sounds like you're simply trying to protect yourself, is that it?

Do you have a few close friends? If you have relatively close friends that haven't betrayed you or anything, and if you have family members you trust such as your parents or aunt for example, how about trusting them with a few personal details of yours? Such as struggles you go through and things you feel you need to talk about? Disclosing small things and working up to the bigger things could make it a lot easier for you to open up and become less reserved if you feel allowed to be yourself, you know what I mean?

When you get attached to something or someone, would it help to practice maintaining that attachment? Instead of going back to your patterns of letting go and staying in that cycle, stay instead. I realize that's easier said than done, but maintaining an attachment to someone can bring lots of positive feelings that will make you glad you got close. Sure, there is always that chance of getting hurt, but without getting hurt then how can we know happiness, you know? Just know that either way, you always have support here and I hope you would reach out to people in your personal life such as family whenever you struggle.

Would you consider getting to know the people in your class again? Since they did not mistreat you, then it might be good for you to reconnect with them.

[BLUE123]

@ Nala
thanks . You are really helpful ! Yeah , just protecting myself from being hurt .
I have a lot of friends , i am good at making friends with individuals but when it is in a group or something i remain quiet .
It would be nice to get to know them again but who exactly do i do that ? It would be weird if i just walked over and said 'hi' after ignoring them all this time .
*Regrets*