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Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 3rd 2011, 10:40 PM
I hate myself more than you will know. I will fall off the face of the earth and not talk to my friends or family for awhile just so I can stop eating and no one will notice. People think I'm innocent when in reality I have a dirty mind. Sometimes I play dumb when someone asks me a personal question. I have cuts all over my stomach and arms and hide it by wearing big hoodies. I have prayd that I get some awful painful disease. I love no one.....alhough I used to love my family. :/ I'm christian although I always doubt my beliefs. /COLOR][/font]
Enjoy the little things in life, for someday you will realize they were the big things.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 12th 2011, 10:04 PM
Sometimes I wish something really bad would happen so that I could be like THAT'S why I feel like this, so that I could pity myself even more. Like I'm glad my dad's an alcoholic and a total screw-up because now I can blame everything on him.
"Those 3 words are said too much, but not enough" <3
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive. Never surrender."
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 13th 2011, 11:02 PM
i'm a bitch to cover up my feelings. and i've been reading things i shouldn't.
"Those 3 words are said too much, but not enough" <3
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive. Never surrender."
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 14th 2011, 11:28 PM
I am trying to stay positive, optimistic and all of that but in all reality I really don't think it will ever happen. Left to wonder aimlessly in the world, alone, with no one to hold me. Fucking so dumb for wanting all these things.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 15th 2011, 12:26 AM
i think i like this guy, but i'm too afraid of being let down to even let myself feel any happiness or take any chance at all. i hate myself for doing this to me, because as much as i hate my family, i was the one who chose to stop feeling so i could numb the pain and disappointment.
"Those 3 words are said too much, but not enough" <3
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while still alive. Never surrender."
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 16th 2011, 08:55 PM
I keep wishing I could go back to starving myself so that I could get thinner sooner. I am so fucking scared I am going to gain all my weight back. I won't get fat again.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 16th 2011, 10:40 PM
He thought I no longer trusted him or cared about him.
He tried to commit suicide, and I'm the reason he was pushed over the edge.
He was found, but not before he lost so much blood...
I'll never forgive myself.
I've never cut as deep as I did that night.
I hate myself so much.
I said saying sorry doesn't make things better, and I stand by that.
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 23rd 2011, 05:27 AM
I love you and I miss you and I'm sorry in advance if I lie to you about my cuts. It's for your own good. I've hidden it from you before. I'll do it again. Maybe next time I'll do it so deep you won't have to fuckin deal with my stupid fucking cunt-ass anymore. Yeah, I fuckin said it. You even said you hate me. Not like I give a shit anymore...
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 23rd 2011, 07:04 AM
I radom dude walked up to me and showed me his ƒ****** balls. It was so akward i was like WTF!!!!!! it was just so gross and creepy and weird all at the same time. bargh noise
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 23rd 2011, 04:10 PM
I spend as much time as possible at my boyfriend's house so I can get away from my mother constantly telling me what's wrong with me and how pathetic I am.
My boyfriend let me steal a pair of his boxers, and sometimes I sleep in them at night and hide them during the day so my mom won't find them and kill me.
I wish I could meet my real birth mother so I can slap her in the face and tell her she's a dirty whore.
I wish I could run away from home and live with my boyfriend so I won't have to take my mother's mental abuse anymore.
I love my Big Sleepy Bear.
I still fill my panties; do YOU?
No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist. -Oscar Wilde
Buddy since 12/25/11 Self Expressions mod since 4/23/12 Helplink mentor since 5/9/12 . . . . . .Skittlify.
I was blessed by your companionship from 12/24/01-6/27/13
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 23rd 2011, 11:32 PM
I'm slipping back into my old habits, even after I promised I wouldn't.
I overdosed last night, and I really don't care.
I'm trying to learn to throw up silently.
I'm disgusting.
wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
Re: Dirty Little Secrets. -
December 26th 2011, 01:56 AM
In one of my dreams last night, my body kept morphing. I grew taller and thinner, shorter and fatter, longer limbs or a different face. People were changing me like I was made of wax, they kept making me their idea of what's beautiful.