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  (#8121 (permalink)) Old
renai. Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 30th 2015, 03:04 AM

You're a tw*t and it pisses me off that you're acting so childish.


it's just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going. and when it's dark out, no one's around, it keeps glowing.

the truth hurts but it hasn't stung enough to stop me.

see, you're just wasted and thinking 'bout the past again, darling, you'll be okay.

You are altogether beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. - song of songs 4:7
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  (#8122 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 30th 2015, 11:18 PM

Maybe it sounds extreme to you, but I stand by it. This wasn't one person saying something stupid once; it was multiple professionals, on multiple occasions over the course of almost 3 years. Then I was blamed for what was said and constantly made to defend the fact that I refused to walk away so close to my dream without a fight. And the fact that you bragged about your decades worth of training to know better cancels out all of your excuses. It was like once someone made up their mind that I didn't belong there, you would stop at nothing to get rid of me and as long as I never had a client again, you could forget that I am a human being with feelings looking down the barrel of my entire life collapsing, you couldn't tell me why, and you couldn't even respect me enough to look me in the eye while ruining my future.

And don't think for a second I wasn't on to that spying crap. Their job was as much to spy on the masters students as it was to run the center. Then you took what they told you behind our backs and published it in an e-mail that went out to more than 40 people. Of course no names were ever given but we knew who we were. You couldn't just approach us to our face and bring up your concerns, you had to do it behind our backs with spies! That wasn't wrong at all.


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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte

Last edited by Kate*; May 31st 2015 at 05:08 AM.
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  (#8123 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 30th 2015, 11:24 PM

Annie,

I'm sorry I didn't take the time to visit you until it's too late. I never forgot you and never will. Thank you for everything you and grandpa have done for me. Without you I wouldn't be the person I am now.

I love you, I miss you..




Karma has no menu, you get served what you deserve
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  (#8124 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 30th 2015, 11:34 PM

Act your age. You're nearly thirty -____-


"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
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  (#8125 (permalink)) Old
Nightblood. Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 31st 2015, 04:34 AM

Not having it didn't make it better



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
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  (#8126 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 31st 2015, 12:32 PM

I'm sorry I haven't been the greatest friend, but my eyes are wide open and I'm here now to help you and to get back to the relationship we had before. I'm going to keep in touch now and make more effort. I should have realised the barriers I've tried so hard to keep up need to come down now because not everyone is the same and we're grown up now.


Facta Non Verba
Deeds not words
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  (#8127 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 1st 2015, 04:51 AM

I honestly thought you were behind that door.


If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts
Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first


The axe forgets, but the tree remembers
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  (#8128 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 1st 2015, 05:03 AM

You know I love you...

just keep going.


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  (#8129 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 1st 2015, 05:09 AM

I knew I was out of options. I knew you lied to me and I know you don’t care the fact that you feel bad changes NOTHING, I’m over it. Good for nothing waste of space capable of nothing, damaged goods. DONE

If expecting mental health professionals to act as role models and treat their students and the future of their profession like human beings with feelings is too much to ask, maybe I'm not the only one who doesn't belong there. And if it is a profession-wide value that you never show weakness to a supervisor or admit to another professional that you're human, then maybe the profession needs a serious overhaul. I'd be happy to do it, but I'm not allowed anywhere near people ever again.

I think I want the privilege of what the degree would allow me to do without the criticism, judgement,and emotional abuse that comes with earning it. I want to do it my way and have it not be wrong, I want to feel comfortable sharing my fears and weaknesses with a supervisor who will help instead of hurt, manipulate, and force me out. I want to not be blamed for things that aren't my fault, I DESERVE that. Yet somehow there's still a tiny part of me that wants to go back.

I know I'm thinking about and that I care more about you than you do me, and I need to stop. I can't stop caring, but I've accepted that you've forgotten about me already. You don't have to care about me any more and you don't. This goes so much deeper than you realize so you were wrong when you said I had options. If you still want to try to help me, go ahead, but so far suicide is the only solution I've come up with and I've been at it 24/7 for the last 8 months so good luck!

You are the only person I can think to contact right now and I know you're NOT an option in the least. Even if you read the email in less than 2 weeks, you can't do anything and I don't expect you to. You don't have to care anymore and you don't. You only said that because you say it to everybody and I might need to for that one day, doing this would lose me that option.


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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte

Last edited by Kate*; June 3rd 2015 at 03:41 AM.
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  (#8130 (permalink)) Old
MyVisionIsDying Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 2nd 2015, 12:59 AM

I like you. I really like you.
Every time we talk I feel like a dork in your presence and I just want to scream out loud because I feel nervous and excited all at once.

But it'll never happen. I know it won't. Yet these feelings won't stop for a while.
I like you. I really like you.




The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
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  (#8131 (permalink)) Old
WashoutThePain Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 2nd 2015, 02:46 AM

Help me not eat.


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  (#8132 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 3rd 2015, 11:27 AM

- I love you immensely but I can't help getting a bit annoyed at your flakiness. When you plan for us to meet up....you shouldn't be the one to bail. And making plans with you is dodgy because I never know if I'm actually going to see you? :/


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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  (#8133 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 4th 2015, 04:19 AM

I'd write five thousand lines if it meant you'd stay.
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  (#8134 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 5th 2015, 04:18 PM

I'd really like to get to know you, but lately we never seem to bump into each other much. I wish that could change.
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  (#8135 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 6th 2015, 06:44 PM

I want you to accept me for who I am.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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  (#8136 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 8th 2015, 10:18 PM

I know you only said that because you say it to everybody, but you have NO IDEA how badly I wish you meant it. I know you want me to be successful even if it's not with you, but succeeding at a worthless degree is not succeeding. I was closer to success failing with you than I would be succeeding there. I was in the better program and you know it. I'm precariously close to suicide and I know it's not your job, especially now, but I feel like I need you to save me one last time.

Apparently using my required year off to white-knuckle through constant and crippling mental health crises alone because professional help is not an option was a waste of time in more ways than one. I'm supposed to be employed and succeeding to prove to you that throwing me out was the "best thing that could ever happen" to me instead of making you face the nightmare that it really is. Apparently this was all my "choice" despite physical brain damage that shows up on an MRI and ruined any quality of life I could've had. According to that theory I've "chosen" to fail at a lot of things and when I kill myself I will have taken the easy way out. Suicide is the only "choice" I will acknowledge having here and I will not apologize for making it, just like you won't apologize for driving me to it.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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  (#8137 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 9th 2015, 05:09 AM

I'm not haunted that you broke the promises that you made to me, but that I actually believed you wouldn't break them. I should have been smarter than that. It's been months and I still feel like I was forced to rip out part of my own self, like a cancer but was still my body and I feel phantom pains where you used to be.


something burning?
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  (#8138 (permalink)) Old
Storyteller. Offline
Spite and coffee.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 10th 2015, 12:51 PM

Stop messaging me. I don't have the energy.


"Love means never having to say
you're a werewolf."
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  (#8139 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 10th 2015, 08:28 PM

I want you to save me so bad I can imagine it happening, but it never will. I want my old life back so bad I can't even tell you


Member Since: September 19, 2007
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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte

Last edited by Kate*; June 11th 2015 at 03:22 AM.
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  (#8140 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 10th 2015, 10:01 PM

Please answer your messages I really need someone to talk to tonight. :/


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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  (#8141 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 11th 2015, 03:02 AM

It's 11pm but it feels like 2. I'm in a car and I'm drunk and the driver put Bruises on and now you're the only thing I can think about. I miss you and I wish I had been bolder in high school and maybe we would still be friends. And now my head is flooded with bubble gum and monster and illegal sledding. I miss you.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
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  (#8142 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 11th 2015, 12:03 PM

I miss you but I'm ashamed of my eating and that's why I told you not to come over


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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  (#8143 (permalink)) Old
Chaotic mind...
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 11th 2015, 07:59 PM

I don't know why you've stopped talking to me but it is wrong to do so without reason.

Please... just come back to me, I need you...
I love you...
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  (#8144 (permalink)) Old
Storyteller. Offline
Spite and coffee.

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 13th 2015, 11:27 AM

Maybe the timing's never going to be right between us.


"Love means never having to say
you're a werewolf."
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  (#8145 (permalink)) Old
Doodle. Offline
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 13th 2015, 03:54 PM

I'm genuinely starting to believe that you're lying.


"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
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  (#8146 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 13th 2015, 08:36 PM

Um, yeah, the non-retards would get that you fucking moron... and you think you are so smart?

Who's the retard now?
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  (#8147 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 13th 2015, 10:03 PM

It's amazing how similar it was to an abusive relationship and the fact that every one of you got away with everything you did that we all know was wrong. And I'd still go back because I still want the career and I don't know if that will ever go away. It's also amazing how wrong he was. I just want to finish it. I've had to fight my whole life, it's nothing new to me, but I want to go back and finish it just to prove you wrong. I believe in karma and you are in for a HUGE dose of it. I wish I was there to see it play out.

I want one more and I don't think it will ever happen. I'm incredibly comfortable with you, you know me, you respect me, and you'll be more objective than she would be, but if it were meant to work out that way, you would've been available to handle it yourself.


Why did you bother giving me birthday money if you're just going to take it back to pay for stuff. If you knew you couldn't afford it, then you shouldn't have even given it to me. I know you're going to pay me back when you get money in your account, but this can I borrow, I'll pay you back (asks for all of my cash) is going to get old REAL fast!

I've had it for 10 years now I can't believe you still think I'm FAKING it! They tested me and FOUND SOMETHING and you still don't believe it's real. It wouldn't have started overnight if it were caused by stress Get that through your head please!!!


Member Since: September 19, 2007
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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte

Last edited by Kate*; June 15th 2015 at 01:01 AM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 13th 2015, 10:17 PM

- OMG I really hope it wasn't bad for you. It's just that it's been a long time since I was with someone new, and you didn't seem very responsive, and it made me self-conscious so I probably came off as insecure. You say you want to get together again but I'm so embarrassed and disappointed in myself that I won't believe it until it happens. I do hope you give me another chance.

- You're really quite annoying. And I still think we have very little in common.

- You have absolutely no idea how happy I was to find out that not only do you not hate me, but that you miss me. For YEARS i have lived with regret for how things ended the last time I saw you. To find out you still want me in your life brings me such joy; I have no words to describe it. Thank you. Thank you so much.

- You'd be proud of me today. I miss you so much.
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  (#8149 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 13th 2015, 10:21 PM

I really want to help you and make it better, but I feel completely helpless...


Who dares - wins.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 14th 2015, 10:38 AM

That conversation could have gone a lot better. But I stand by what I said. I'm sorry it's not what you wanted to hear, but I can't say something is a good idea when it really isn't.


"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." - Nelson Mandela, Long Walk to Freedom

However bleak things seem, however insurmountable the darkness appears, remember that you have worth and nothing can take that away.

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Originally Posted by OMFG!You'reActuallySmart! View Post
If you're referring to dr2005's response, it's not complex, however, he has a way with words .
RIP Nick
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 17th 2015, 09:41 PM

You know what? Only after you've lived my life for 27 years do you have the right to judge the decisions I've been forced to make on my own in circumstances no one has ever seen. You can either offer me objective and sincere help, or you can back the bleep off!


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 17th 2015, 11:38 PM

WHY DID U TELL MY MUM TO PRESSURE ME MORE? I AM ALREADY PRESSURED...

Ugh.. I wish I could tell you how you totally do your job wrong and I even lie to you whilst talking with you. Seriously you're not doing such a good job..



Colin / 17 / Pre-op Trans-Guy
on T since 12/21/16





If you need someone to talk or if you have questions, feel free to PM or VM me.
I am always here!
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 20th 2015, 01:56 PM

Thanks for allowing me to get in, you really saved my arse there.


Who dares - wins.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 20th 2015, 05:25 PM

It sickens me the way you treat your students and that you get away with it, I hope you get some serious karma for it at some point. I'd LOVE for someone besides me to have to take responsibility and get consequences.

I love you, but I've cut off communication for my own safety. I doubt you've figured that out yet; I'd tell you, but you wouldn't listen anyway. I'm just starting to recover after almost 9 months. You're the last thing I need right now and I just can't deal with you


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Last edited by Kate*; June 20th 2015 at 10:28 PM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 21st 2015, 12:49 AM

I'm scared I'm not good enough for you


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 21st 2015, 11:06 AM

You make me feel so young and stupid


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 21st 2015, 12:39 PM

How dare you turn him into someone like you?
Yes we had our thing- but that was years ago and you keep using it as a excuse to slide your way back in. I asked you to leave me alone. I asked you to let me be. And what did you do? You took all that mattered to me.
I miss him like hell. Hell because crying night after night hurts. Hell because when people give the sorry face and act all weird because they don't want to upset you and hell because he's a beautiful angel who i had to let go.
Well now you've got him and your shoving it into my eyes how much he never needed me, all i ask is you look after him.

You have ruined me- congratulations.


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real
not perfect
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 22nd 2015, 12:01 AM

Stop making me want to kill myself every time I talk to you and I'll start calling more often. Even if I could tell you that it wouldn't do any good.


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"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 22nd 2015, 02:22 AM

Honestly, you can go fuck yourself . You treat me like shit because I am related to my mother!? I can't believe I spent $7,100 on your fucking car, which I haven't received a cent back. You didn't even thank me for it. It's people like YOU that I feel so awful inside and my esteem is completely shot. I am having a lot of emotional problems because of people like you.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - June 22nd 2015, 11:44 PM

Oh my God, I miss you so much. Oh my God. And I thought I was immune to heartbreak until tonight. I never ever ever thought I would be here. I thought we were doing great, was so proud that we could still be friends, can say it to people. And then you tell me you're going to emigrate in the next three years and my world falls apart in front of me and I don't know what to do shoul I tell you or would that be cruel or would it mean nothing do you even feel the same way?

Fuck.


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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