*Rainbow*Rider* Offline

i wish i was more like you. cause you sound so social,even online and real life together.

and sadly from 40 that you growed up is slowly fading away,you become weaker already,though the process is slow onto 60-70,depending on how much your active.

well,correctly put. you did say "Growing up is to be done outside. Getting old is when you sit inside. Thats how I see it anyway" so i took it that way. when puberty stops,you usually stop growing up. you ARE young. i cannot imagine you inside at all. people shouldn't miss the exciting life journey experiences.

there are days you stay in though,the non working ones i guess. once a week.

i see it completely opposite. :/ but it makes sense. your not growing up anymore though. does that mean you should stay inside?
everyone has their own way to live,even if its awkward. doesn't mean where your from. and your parent have big effects on you.you watch them always , all day,theyre doing nothing,not going out and stuff. i think it had some influence on me. i should better stop,right?

don't worry,i will make step by step on this situation. i'm totally aware of it. i should beat my social phobia. just hoping it isnt something for a doctor. i have problems of behaving towards people anywhere.

yeah but i dont have a dog right now,remember. its still a tough pet situation here. i used to walk alone my dog last year,while she wasnt THAT old yet. mom is just too much about security again. -.-

my cousin got used to going out when he went in high school at the age of 16,he wasnt independent yet. and my other cousin didnt know anything till she met her online bf in belgrade. she doesnt walk alone...ohh never,just with him.

my whole family is really strange,trust me.

that is true,not the killing thing. the sudden death syndrome must be from the family,in generations etc. my family tree is perfectly healthy except of stressing handling and that jazz that makes me wish i wasnt born here.

so again i agree with the life thing,i am socialphobic already,for a very long time. thats my ex friends' fault. now i view and experience totally different than others. i think no one here sees it like i do ,its weird.
is it a habit or i'm just made that way? i dunno.
but would it be a problem if i take walks alone in the park or something? does it matter if i'm alone?? i want to go out but maybe first a bit with my mom and then i get used to being alone. maybe find friends on the way...

i just listen to an anonymous quote.
it doesn't matter where i spend my time, just as long as its with those i care about.
it matters with "who" ,right? i dont want to give in cause of strangers i don't wantto see yet. i don't even want rumors before i go to this new school(which is going to be filled with stuck up girls but whatever). even facebook lets me down everytime i visit that stupid site.

if there is going to be a meet up with girls,i'll surely go. but it won't be good time,i'm just different. thats all. HONESTLY. i leave myself to believe in good happenings though.

hannah don't let me die fast. not like the roof is going to fall on my head. i dont even sit all the time,i'm in my yard too.

not really lol. afraid of what would people think if they see me in the street or something.
i know,i get worried too much. i get tensed every time i leave the house. unless i am going to a family dinner. the town centre just creeps me out.
i hope that changes soon.

For a bit? Lol You'll be back :P You'll have to be back your probably missing me like crazy!

i can only remember ONE thing,it was in my town.




it was like a record for how much umbrellas could be held in the same place...
it wasnt interesting for me so i didnt want to participate. i am not even going out.

btw ella is a name for a milk/yogurt factory near by.

Newby? It's been like 5 months! I'm good how is you?