NoHope1 Offline

hiiiiiiiiiiiii there person

This made me cry I did a test on whether or not I should kill myself and then it told me words that I needed to hear just to get me through the night.



For 50 % you are: Listen. I am glad you made it through the quiz. Trust me, I really am. But do you really think no one will ever love you? Oh..okay..you are just ready to leave. All of those things people do and say are driving you insane, have made you empty inside. Well, this is a sign telling you not to leave. You know how when everything is pitch black in a room, there is always that one little glimmer of light that is really hard to see? Well, that is where you need to go. The light will get brighter, and you will realize that you can finally escape from all of this darkness. Go to it, and you will realize that the darkness is behind you. It may be far, but it is there. Still, don't believe me? Well then hear me out. Tomorrow may be the best day of your life, but you wouldn't be there to live it. Look around a bit. Think, who has NOT been mean to me? Go to that person. There is always someone who has not pestered you. It may be a bit awkward but say hi. Eventually, they will be there in the darkness with a candle, with open arms. You just need to open yourself back up again. I know you fear that you will be broken again, but that is just another reason to keep looking for someone who will mend you. If you weren't meant to be, you wouldn't have made it this far in life. Think, someone actually made a quiz for me. Just promise me you will hang in there, okay? Trust me. I have been there.(:

I can't sleep and the only feeling I have right now is numbness. I've tried to fall asleep but I can't not since the move. Every breath I take is like stepping on a floor full of thumb tacks. I'm trying to think of happy thoughts but all the games are over and life is getting colder. To everybody else, my pain is a worthless attempt to get attention. When all I really need is someone to hold me closer than anyone has before and tell that no matter what they say. I know that somewhere in this world everyone will find someone to hold. I just can't see myself happy with a life full of people. Especially since all I could do to them is make them sadder that they've ever been before.

I cut more. I didn't mean to do it I just.. I needed to forget the other pains I was feeling..

Oh my gosh! I just realised that I still love someone! But I feel like my best friend and him, have something going on. I feel like shit because he broke up with me because I didn't know what to do. But now I do! I haven't even told anyone. I feel like I'm gonna die because all the feelings I have for him and I have no way of showing him that I like him this much. How can I fix this? I always screw everything thing good in my life up. So what do I say? What do I do? How do I tell anyone how much I miss our hugs and cute names and all that stuff? He was the only thing that I wanted to do anything for. I broke the gift he gave me because of a guy that was jealous of us. But that didn't stop us for long. About a week after we got back together he broke up with me because I didn't know how to act in a relationship or say. I ruined a beautiful thing in my life just because I couldn't figure out a very easy thing. Now I'm stuck in this lonely life with nothing but friends who are gonna leave..

Why did God put him in this world? All he does is tell people their nothing and that their lives don't matter like his. I don't know how he can live with himself the way that he treats people! Unfortunately for me I'm sitting beside him in language and he just said " Izzy I'm soo nice, aye". I know it doesn't seem bad but just before he said that he was bulling me and my friends.. Well I'm in class gotta go...

He's here!! My heart is racing!! What if he tells me that I'm no good again? What happens if I'm walking down a flight of stairs and he's behind me and pushes me down and I die?? I need him to be gone! But he's in my class the only way he is gonna be gone is if he's sick,dead, or wounded. But he's carful, he knows what to do and what to say to make him stay as long as he wants. Does he even know how much it hurts?

I came home today. It took me awhile to convince myself not to panic. My family is not the kind of people you would ever want to meet. They put you through horrific pain you never want to feel just to "impress" the people they call friends. They don't even know when to stop hitting or touching or blaming. Like I don't know who to trust because people say to trust your parents but I don't know how I can trust people who tell me I'm lying to them every time I say someone touches me or hits me. All my parents do are yelling scream and hit, and I know how much more I can take.

So far no panic attacks. I've been eating less and less though. I gotta go my friend might read this and I don't want her to know..

Okay. What are they?