- About me
- I have an older sister but she has a mental disability and can't develop mentaly past 7 so I had to be the older brother even though she is 5 years older then me my parints favered her they focused on her blamed everything on me avoided punishing her. when I get to grade one I found I had a learning disability no one realy told me what it was even my classmates knew more about it then me. I had alot of trouble with writing anything and was slow I eventualy just gave up on spelling tests when they were handed back so we could mark out own work I just marked everything as wrong and put my pencil down. I got alot of extra help didn't do much and it turned everyone agenst me funny thing here everyone seems to thingk bullying is always just one kid picking on another for me it was the whole class agenst me teachers didn't seem to care my parints said I was being unresonable to expect everyone to like me.
all this caused paranoia and hatrid for everyone if I had a bomb I would have killed my entier class I thought about doing it often. this went on until I changed schools in grade 6 I became the quiet kid and people seemed to leave me alone. I had a few freinds I didn't like them much but they were people to hang out with during resses. I don't remember much about grades 6 through 8 it is a blur but I think there was a suicide atmempt in there
in grade 9 I was quiet still and I was afraid of people I barly said anything and never said it loud enough to be herd. I saw that people had changed but my fear was too deep to shake I had one person I called freind but I didn't like him much but agen he was someone to hang out with. I hated english class I have allways stuggled with writing and anything to do with art. I am good at math but being good at something most people arn't isn't very helpful if you can't do the things most people find easy.
in grade 10 I found out what depression is and that I had it. I spent hours resurching trying to find a way to help myself without telling anyone. my parents were better then they were before but the fear of saying anything to complain stuck. there was nothing about how to help yourself out of depression all the sites said was tell someone I was afraid to tell anyone. I eventualy found this site and I think it saved my life the people there convinced me not to kill myself a start. eventualy my parints found out and got me some help it was too late the pain was cemented into my brain
in grade 11 my one freind got me into a group of his freinds they were ok people but I could barly talk because I was afraid of looking stuped. it was my first real socal interaction I had ever had and I had no idea how to act or what to say, I didn't know how people seemed to be able to talk to people
by grade 12 I had learned to talk more and in grade 12 I met a girl who showed intrest in me and I fell in love but there was a catch (if there wasn't one it probibly won't hapen to me) she had a boyfreind. it was the most frustrating thing that had ever hapened to me it was the first thing I had ever been sure of and I couldn't act on it. I eventualy told her about my feelings and we are still freinds but it is still frustrating
now I am in grade 13 and optrional grade where I am
I can't see my freinds as much anymore because of diferint lunch periods. being lonley is 10 times worse when you know what you are missing
and something new has started recintly. I have never realy been able to get my anger out and now it seems to be boiling over anger not directed at anyone or anything just at life. I have an urge to break things tear my room apart I find I am wishing someone would pick a fight with me so I can take it out on them
that is all I can think of right now I think there might be a few detals left out
- Here for
- Need help for a problem
- Relationship status
- High School
- I have no idea
- Atheist and not going to convert
- Zodiac sign
- wanna talk?
with or without religion a good person will do good and an evil one will do evil
- wanna talk?
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