S I havent been online as much and ive missed so much.
I nearly left but i couldnt bring myself to as all of u have helped me and I want to help others.

So ive been very up and down.
My appitite comes and goes.
SH is getting worse and im doing it more and more often.
I have been suicidal.
School are sticking there noses again.
And im falling, just falling, falling away.

hi,

i am writing this because i feel like a fool because i have just been in the chat room and i think that don't make a very good impression to other people about how i am and who i am.
when it comes to men i am a mess but when it comes to girls i find its more like me becoming bitchy for no reason and when i talk to teens i have no idea what to say because i am scared that i will be rejected and used again because of my kindness.
now i want to talk about this crush...

i am stuck between myself and someone else as i am always thinking to myself about if and when would my perfect man come along i mean in our days we still people bashing gay people just because there gay but i have nothing but pain my life and i have had two boyfriends in my life time and a hell of a lot of one night stands but for 2 years i have been single and that one question keeps playing over and over in my head will i ever find my perfect man?
i don't even know if there is a such thing...

i have been going to my counsellor every week and i have been talking to her about the problem i have and face in future and yesterday was great i talked to my counsellor about most things around 20 subjects were brought up but i can tell you its not fun to be someone who is hurting all the time like 24/7 and never has fun but puts on a fake smile to make everyone else happy.
god i hate pleasing everyone and that's why i don't have a bf or any friends for that matter.
i have done a...

WHY I ENVY YOU:

1. Jessy. For the girlfriend. Dammit.
2. Amy Lee. For the voice. Ahhhh
3. Tricia. Green Day tickets. GAH.
4. Dena. Hasn't got writer's block.
5. Tish. Has spare time.
6. Joe. I miss Ricky =(
7. Everyone seeing Muse in November.
8. You. 'Cause you're reading this instead of doing homework.

das endet.

ok well i don't know really where to start but i am going to write things about me and i hope that you guys don't mind.

i have moved around a lot in my short life time but i was put into state care when i was 10 years old it was because my mother could not control me that's her words not mine, but anyway i got hurt in state care so much people tried to kill me 4 times without success and it was all because i am gay nothing else can you believe that, anyway i got out of care at 18...

As wieght loss comes to the forfront of my mind and SH becomes out of control I am detaching myself away from the world.

Ive stopped talking to my mum. I try and not communicate too much with friends cause im scared that soon ill cut a vain. Soon i will refuse to eat and i dont want people i love to see me like that.

I stay up really late trying to make sense of the things that pocess me and i cant

I cant stop and im loosing the want to stop.
...

After 4 years of strongly dis-liking high school...I can officially say I never have to go there again. So after the cerimony itself most of us went to grad night. I was a little hesitant at first since most of our school's events are pretty lame. But let me tell you, I laughed harder and longer than I have in a loooong time. Watching tough jocks being hypnotized into crying and painting their toenails...yeah that's something I'll never get to see again.

*High fives...