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message about my life right now

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Posted June 8th 2009 at 03:42 PM by sum14u

ok well i don't know really where to start but i am going to write things about me and i hope that you guys don't mind.

i have moved around a lot in my short life time but i was put into state care when i was 10 years old it was because my mother could not control me that's her words not mine, but anyway i got hurt in state care so much people tried to kill me 4 times without success and it was all because i am gay nothing else can you believe that, anyway i got out of care at 18 years old but i quit school when i was 14 years old because of the bullying that i coped and i should not have been put though all this but now i fear that my life will never be the same again.
i am trying to stay hopeful that i will find the perfect man for myself and i can't but wonder if i should keep going on with life as i am sad most days and i have to walk at night time because i cant go out during the day unless it's important than i leave my apartment but i have stopped my life since care because i am scared of what will happen now as i have again almost being killed by someone here in sydney because i am gay and her and her friends hate me just because of that fact i wish people could get a life because being gay is not for someone else to but into because it does not affect how that other person lives so i can't stand around and let people hurt me so i sit in my apartment everyday waiting for something to come along but you know i wish my mother and i could get along because at least i would have a friend but i have no one that understands me and i writing this hoping that its ok to write this.
god i feel like crying but i always stop myself i want a life that i can call my own but i just don't know and more so understand what to do with talking to other's that may or may not have gone though the same thing i have.
thanks for reading i will post more soon.
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