Today I danced in the rain. Today I felt free. I'm not a beautiful girl. I'm not the most liked girl. I'm too sassy and odd for that. But today I took a walk and the rain fell as I wandered aimlessly around the RV park listening to David Arkenstone and I felt....every bad feeling wash away. All of my scars disappeared and I felt...Clean. Whole. Like I truly could start over and every thing would be okay.


I'm an ex-self harmer, three years free of that demon. But I realize...I...

Ugh I'm so tired. Ashley told me last night she still loves me, that didn't help matters... I got no sleep because of this. I have only had a small bowl of shreeded wheat with 1/3 milk and 2/3 water... I'm skipping lunch, and probably having very limitted dinner, hopefully without purging again unlike last night... I'm so dizzy and tired and it's driving me insane.. I still have some control, so I'm using it the best I can. But I can feel ana/mia, whatever taking over really fast... I can't tell...

Woke up at eight this morning, you know, the time I usually leave for my bus. Alarm went off at seven and yet again, while still asleep, I managed to turn it off and sleep an extra hour. This can't go on.
I went back to my usual thing of changing "My Number" on my phone to one of my friends and sending myself a text saying I didnt have to be in till half ten.
This can't keep happening like this. I've missed so much because I wake up feeling so negative that I just don't think...