Been dreading this week since November last year. Wednesday was obviously going to be difficult, especially when I realised it was 11am and ended up crying again.
But now there's the whole 8 days afterwards before the funeral thing and I keep thinking about that dream I had last week.
Sat and drank my way through Monday night. Screwed up my legs and an arm last night. Tonight looks set to be a repeat of one or both nights.
Best thing being no one knows. Because I stopped...

So, today was meant to be quite busy, and I got out of bed at about 9:00am after tossing and turning and panicking for hours.

Today was originally meant to go: clothes shopping with Leisa, appointment with Judy, Chris's funeral.
Chris's funeral has been post-poned, and Leisa rang this morning to say we can't do the clothes shopping today (and I am very happy about this) because the funds hadn't come through. I don't really want to go clothes shopping so that made me happy....

Feeling so alone..Stupid thoughts that really need to go away >_<
I can't talk to anyone, no one wants to know and none of my school friends have any idea about my life. They'll tell me that i'm being silly, I always help them but as soon as I even attempt to talk to them they just ignore me.

I'm an idiot, at this rate I don't think I'm going to be here much longer :/