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Pathetic and worthless...

Posted October 13th 2015 at 09:32 PM by Riddikulus

I'm feeling worse than ever, I can't control my suicidal thought or thoughts to self harm, I don't want to keep doing this and I don't even know what to do anymore.

You're pathetic and worthless Charli

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

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Struggling to see the point

Posted September 21st 2015 at 08:31 PM by Riddikulus

I've been trying so hard to hold it together the past few days, with a new job starting soon, my old University are still trying to do all they can to ruin my life and future career.
I really want to cut myself but I'm trying really hard not too, those thoughts are then leading to thoughts of overdose and I'm finding it really difficult to push them back. I just don't see a point anymore.

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

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I can't control it

Posted September 17th 2015 at 01:00 PM by Riddikulus

I feel like I'm slowly getting worse and worse, the urges to hurt myself are getting stronger and I'm really struggling to control them. I can't go near a bridge or anything at the moment without thoughts going through my head. I don't know what to do anymore.

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 238 Comments 1 Riddikulus is offline

Failing attempt at recovery

Posted September 15th 2015 at 10:17 PM by Riddikulus

So I'm two months drug free and a month Self Harm free and for a while I thought I was progressing well. Suddenly I feel like I'm going completely back downhill, I don't have any friends to talk to, no one is willing to listen, it's like no one cares. I have no community support anymore and I'm doing this completely alone.

I've started writing up plans again and notes and I can't handle my thoughts anymore. All I want to do right now is hurt myself...

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

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Hospital, Crisis team, Stitches Triggering

Posted February 2nd 2014 at 10:49 PM by Riddikulus

I haven't been on here for ages, while my life is busier, I'm falling apart more. Since starting uni in September I've had 4 hospital trip which have involved getting stitches after Self-Harm. I keep being refered to mental health teams but getting knocked out of the system and my GP doesn't know why.
I had to see the crisis team, they keep trying to put me on meds and I'm refusing to take them.... I don't want to be here...I can't cope anymore.

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

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Suffering in silence trig

Posted October 14th 2013 at 08:02 AM by Riddikulus

Uni's great don't get me wrong and I've met so many amazing people and have some really close friends but I feel so alone. I don't know how I can feel alone with so many people around me but I do.
I relapsed badly and my hips are quite infected and so painful but I feel so stupid and can't do much about it.

I don't want to be here anymore... :/

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 109 Comments 0 Riddikulus is offline

It's never going to be okay trig

Posted July 7th 2013 at 09:54 PM by Riddikulus

My head of sixth form got really worried again that I was going to kill myself and rung psychological wellbeing so that they would move my appointment forward. She told me that I needed to speak to them or they were going to 'come and get me'/

I kept telling her I was fine, I don't want to speak to these people, I don't want to have to be here and waste people's time.

I need to die >_<

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

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Everything will be over in a few hours trig

Posted July 2nd 2013 at 09:24 PM by Riddikulus

I can't cope any more, I don't want to be here anymore, I can't be here anymore.

I can't live any longer

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 134 Comments 0 Riddikulus is offline

I really can't cope anymore trig

Posted June 24th 2013 at 09:38 PM by Riddikulus

I can't do this much longer >_< Since people found out about my suicide plans things are getting so much worse.

I can't cope, I want to hurt, I want to die >_<

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

Posted in Uncategorized

Views 127 Comments 1 Riddikulus is offline