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*_* numb

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Posted April 26th 2009 at 12:10 PM by 84y

Another fucking day came.... Hate in the air, disgust is ruling ,cold war and every 1 is putting every 1 down........we are now back to the normal days of *crappy shut* family after the 3rd world ....house war.
Gotta class in couple of hours another teacher will be let down another nagging wave to scramble my numbness.....most of my meaningless words r being spilled just as balnk and empty as my soul is...no soul, no life, no family , no friends..... I mean c'mon I barely see any of them /unless they want sth from me/ and as the only ..... U know what makes it more and more facinatingly *blank?*......hearing others crying about dealing with 1 problem of what u've been threw..as i am hearing this problems show i used 2 hear i feel a very urging need 2 laugh and laugh and laugh.......why? Here is de 1st girl talking about being abused by her father, the 1 b4 wining about her parents fights and beating, the third how mean his friends were and the fourth for not being loved, having a g.f and the last *who broke it* for being blamed 4 sth he did not do and now he's grounded and as de psychologist answers each 1 'may b it is hard but it is possible hang on ......shitty advice....ends up by /we all believe in u/ ' i can not help but think then what am I? That fucking nosey councellour would not shut it off..... I went to take my *MUst be repeateed iq test for dof results (believe it or not but I had 2 iq tests one resulted 99*mentally retired* and the other 148 or sth *I am smarter than davinci, mozart and einstein* both crappy shut ended up by * u r LLH so stop trying no matter how hard u try u cant gurantee any thing u may get the perfect score as u may fail back 2 ur deeper psycho ......blah blah blah blah* shut that means kill ur self......the bitch is gonna go on never knowing my name /i am number 376 or sth/ keaving me here....why on fucking earth did she call me 4 ? .....however, i still laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.....soooo many people each wining about 1 prob of my bunch yet i do not feel like trouble......i fail so be it, i pass so be it .....i have the feeling of guilt nagging me sometimes yet all i do is sit back taste of salt in my mouth.my chicks r wet...well..i thought i was laughing.it seems like all i did was that i *cried* even though i think my life is not hell.....u need a life first then it is made hell but me, alife or dead, genius or retired, hated or loved, existed or not i will always stay the echo of a scream ever bouncing off the pain rocks in the cold vacuum.....yet there is a good side....i do not feel a thing any more.....even though i still smile when i think about shooting the gerk and the 2 sluts ....4 bullets for the erk , 2 in the knees and two where the arm meets the sholder, other 2 one for each bitch right in the front of her empty head
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