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Mostly stuff about my bf, but other stuff too if I feel like it
Plans Change...
Posted April 4th 2009 at 07:54 PM by Care-o-Bear
Updated April 4th 2009 at 07:55 PM by Care-o-Bear (accidently posted before I finished writing...)
Updated April 4th 2009 at 07:55 PM by Care-o-Bear (accidently posted before I finished writing...)
Tyler and I have had to agree that we aren't going to have sex this year.
On Tuesday night, in the car my mom talked to me about sex. She'd always thought I was waiting till I'm married to have sex because I used to be so articulate about that. Now, I've said that I'd like to live with someone before marraige and she was beginning to think that Tyler was pressuring me into doing things, like touching, that I didn't want to do. The thing is, he's not pressuring me. He knows that I have to be ready before we do them and these are things I want to do. I ended up convincing her I wasn't being pressured, but she took that to mean there wasn't touching either. She then said I could come to her if he was pressuring me or if I felt ready for sex, which at first made me hopeful, but then she went on to say she'd make sure it didn't happen if I did go to her. And she said on Sunday Tyler's mom called mine to say he was home alone and she was pretty sure he wouldn't try to sneak me over but she wanted to make sure because she thought we were getting close to sex. The thing is Tyler wanted me to go over but thankfully even before we knew about his mom calling, we decided it was too risky and didn't do it.
So Tuesday night, I was really upset, I almost cried many times. We talked on the phone for the first time and I kinda got distracted and happy again. The next day, we found a quiet place at school during lunch and talked a little. That night was even worse for me, I was crying some. He called me again and we were on the phone for like 3 hours, mostly consisting of silence and him listening to me breathe funny. I kept apologizing and he kept saying it was ok. He said he wouldve stayed up all night with me if I'd asked him to. Thursday he was really worried about me. I was sad all day, wouldn't smile even at funny things he said, which is very unusual for me. He kept trying to make me laugh and worrying about me when I didn't. We went off at lunch again to talk but didn't really talk much, I just leaned on him and he comforted me. We texted a lot after school. He said maybe it was better if we decide not to have sex this year so we'll be more mature when we do and we won't have to worry about getting BC, time, and place for a while.
We're both ok with this, I just feel a little sad that we won't be doing this for a while. But overall, I think it's a good idea. So, we've decided that a good place to stop this year for both of us is oral. Even that will take a while before we get to that point, especially me on him. I'm a little diappointed that we won't have sex for so long, but the lack of worry has made me happier, so I'm ok with it. He is too because he loves to see me happy. He was so glad yesterday that I was so happy and smilie again.
So...yeah...plans change...
On Tuesday night, in the car my mom talked to me about sex. She'd always thought I was waiting till I'm married to have sex because I used to be so articulate about that. Now, I've said that I'd like to live with someone before marraige and she was beginning to think that Tyler was pressuring me into doing things, like touching, that I didn't want to do. The thing is, he's not pressuring me. He knows that I have to be ready before we do them and these are things I want to do. I ended up convincing her I wasn't being pressured, but she took that to mean there wasn't touching either. She then said I could come to her if he was pressuring me or if I felt ready for sex, which at first made me hopeful, but then she went on to say she'd make sure it didn't happen if I did go to her. And she said on Sunday Tyler's mom called mine to say he was home alone and she was pretty sure he wouldn't try to sneak me over but she wanted to make sure because she thought we were getting close to sex. The thing is Tyler wanted me to go over but thankfully even before we knew about his mom calling, we decided it was too risky and didn't do it.
So Tuesday night, I was really upset, I almost cried many times. We talked on the phone for the first time and I kinda got distracted and happy again. The next day, we found a quiet place at school during lunch and talked a little. That night was even worse for me, I was crying some. He called me again and we were on the phone for like 3 hours, mostly consisting of silence and him listening to me breathe funny. I kept apologizing and he kept saying it was ok. He said he wouldve stayed up all night with me if I'd asked him to. Thursday he was really worried about me. I was sad all day, wouldn't smile even at funny things he said, which is very unusual for me. He kept trying to make me laugh and worrying about me when I didn't. We went off at lunch again to talk but didn't really talk much, I just leaned on him and he comforted me. We texted a lot after school. He said maybe it was better if we decide not to have sex this year so we'll be more mature when we do and we won't have to worry about getting BC, time, and place for a while.
We're both ok with this, I just feel a little sad that we won't be doing this for a while. But overall, I think it's a good idea. So, we've decided that a good place to stop this year for both of us is oral. Even that will take a while before we get to that point, especially me on him. I'm a little diappointed that we won't have sex for so long, but the lack of worry has made me happier, so I'm ok with it. He is too because he loves to see me happy. He was so glad yesterday that I was so happy and smilie again.
So...yeah...plans change...
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