This "special" home sucks. I have to share one small room with 3 other guys. And it smells like shit. Theres 4 other kids here:
-Shane
-Gordan
-Liam
-Delaney
Today was the worst day of my life. I don't even want to thing about Jamie's reaction when I said Bye

Alright, I'm going to the "special" home tomorrow. I am litteraly bawling my eyes out, How am I supposed to say goodbye to Jamie, That kid is my brother. I can't just leave him.
And I am so fucking tired of people telling me that their there for me and when I need them their no where to be found.
Its not worth it anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpUYjpKg9KY&ob=av2e

Still at the hospital. I think their letting me out in a couple hours, But I have to go right from here to therapy. Not my usual therapy either, I have to go to "group therapy". "So I can understand I'm not alone in this world" (Doctor's words, not mine)
My social worker came to see me, She asked me how I was and I tried. (she wrote everything down, it was quite creepy) After that she went out into the hall to talk to Debbie and Bill, And told them she's thinking about...

I'm in the hospital right now. I can't exactly remember what happened. I know I cut but I didn't think it was that deep, apparently Debbie found me passed out in my room.
My doctor said if she see's me again she'll kill a kitten Usually I'm only there overnight but they want to keep me longer this time:\ Oh and Bill looked through my phone and found out my dad called. He's mad I didn't tell him, So I told him what my dad said and he got all upset. Then he told Debbie and she got...

I know I made a blog earlier but I need to tell somebody.

My dad just called me from jail. "Dre its your father...I'm getting out soon...I'm going to bail your brother out so we can be a family again...*laughs hysterically*" I'll never forget that. He fucking laughed. We were never a family, I've never had a family. I will kill myself before I'll ever live with them again. (He didn't get charged for my rape, there wasn't enough evidence)
I'm cutting more than ever....

So if you haven't guessed I'm grounded. I went to a party with some friends (I use the term friends loosely) and we ended up getting drunk and high:P And when I got home Bill and Debbie got all upset, So now I'm stuck in my room. I don't see why they got so upset, It's not like they didn't expect this from me. Ugh, I'm not used to getting grounded, it sucks.
Oh and on top of that Jamie's not allowed to talk to me while I'm grounded. Which sucks. But I'm still allowed to have my cat Which...

Today was Jamie's birthday. I gave him the spiderman game I had gotten him. I think he played for like 6 hours:P We had a little birthday party for him, Just me, him, Debbie, and Bill. I think Bill's parents wanted to come but Bill said it would be better if they didn't, Because me and Jamie haven't met them yet. But they did send a card with money for Jamie Jamie was a little sad though, It is his first birthday without his parents. :\ But other than that it was fun.
I thought a little...

After a horrible weekend I wanted to go visit some of my friends. So Bill and Debbie let me go to my old neighborhood for awhile.
I was walking towards my friends house when someone called my name. I turn around and one of my exes was standing there. She asked how I was doing and we talked for a minute but I could tell she was nervous, So I asked her what was wrong.
I didn't like the answer.
(I had slept with her a couple months ago before we broke up) She told me she was...

Camp sucked.
The first day they asked our opions on the "gays". Everyone said either their going to hell, or their horrible people. When it was my turn I said I was bi. So then everyday during free time I had to read the bible (probably wasn't a good idea to tell them I was an athiest)
We also had a 2 hour swim everyday. The first day I sat on the dock, No problem. The second day Jordan (some idiot from camp) asked why I wasn't swimming, So I told him I couldn't swim....