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Finally, a positive blog! :D

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Posted April 9th 2014 at 01:43 AM by Ennui.
Tags calm, positive

I haven't cut in 25 days. The suicidal thoughts haven't really been there. Sure I've had my low days where I've had the urge to cut. The two days that stick out in my mind, one day I decided to just go to sleep a little early to combat the urges, and one day I didn't have my tool on me so I couldn't.

I've actually felt GOOD lately and I don't know why. I don't know how long it is going to last but it feels so nice to wake up and have more energy to do things and not constantly feel like crying. I hope it lasts a while.

I feel as if not much bad has happened to me lately and that at least for now, I am better able to combat what's going on around me. Again, I don't know how long it is going to last, but it still counts, right?

Still been doing a lot of napping but hey, that's whatever. Honestly, I wish I knew what caused me to be in such a good mood because I don't know at all and if I did, I'd do it more. I haven't been hanging out with friends or anything lately but I'm assuming that's not it. I've just been kinda going to school and then going home.

Finally sent in the deposit for my college. They made a Facebook group for our class and I friended a few people who hopefully I can grow close to in college. I'm still nervous but it may help me some to at least know one person before I go.

I can't say I'm happy all the time but I'm feeling really calm and that's so good.
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Total Comments 6


  1. Old Comment
    Thereishope's Avatar
    Woot! A positive blog! (hopefully more to coooome? )

    It's great to hear that you haven't SH'ed in almost a month and that your suicidal thoughts haven't really been there! Hey, we all have our low moments, that's what makes us human (we are human, right?...well some of us anyway )

    We all have our good days and our bad days and we don't always know why, again I think it's just being human. :P I hope it lasts for you too, I'm sure it will!

    I'm sure you'll make a lot of friends before and during college! You'll be just fine!

    Just remember to continue keeping your head up, don't sweat the small stuff and above all..have fun with life, no matter what it brings! Ok, my odd rambling comment is done.

    PS: GO UCOOOOOOONNNNNN! Ok now I'm done!
    Posted April 9th 2014 at 02:01 AM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline
  2. Old Comment
    I am glad you are feeling better. I know that can be such a relief. This is definitely a good place to be and I hope that things continue looking up for you.
    Posted April 9th 2014 at 04:03 AM by
  3. Old Comment
    hocus pocus's Avatar
    I got so excited when I saw the title of your post! You go, girl!
    Posted April 9th 2014 at 05:24 AM by hocus pocus hocus pocus is offline
  4. Old Comment
    Darkened_Empress's Avatar
    what a breath of fresh air, Merpop you deserve nothing but the best <3
    Posted April 9th 2014 at 04:54 PM by Darkened_Empress Darkened_Empress is offline
  5. Old Comment
    I'm so glad to hear this, keep it up<3
    Posted April 10th 2014 at 04:32 AM by Not_here Not_here is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Pirouette's Avatar
    Yayyy Dez! So glad to hear things have gotten better and congratulations on being almost a month clean.
    Posted April 11th 2014 at 01:15 AM by Pirouette Pirouette is offline
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