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Don't want to be.

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Posted May 23rd 2014 at 02:42 AM by Ennui.

I realize I don't want to be.
Or feel.
Or do anything at all.

Part of me doesn't want to go to college.
Or get a job.
Or drive.

I wish I had the heart to push people away.
But I still do care about them.
Just not in the right ways.
And far from enough.

Too many things are coming to an end.
And way too many are beginning.

I'm tired.
I wish I could lay in my bed for the rest of my life.
And sleep forever.
And melt into the blankets.
And turn to dust.
And cease to exist.

I'm lost.
And maybe I can't be found.
Or maybe I don't want to.

This isn't me saying I'm suicidal.
I only feel slightly at this moment.
Passing thoughts.
Nothing I'd act on.
This is me just stating the facts.
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Total Comments 1


  1. Old Comment
    Thereishope's Avatar
    Hey there Dezi!

    I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling like this but hey you'll get through this. I may not have the going to college experience but I more or less went through the rest. Ya it sucked and it was hard at times but I made it through just fine, and so will you! Keep your chin up and remember I'm only a keystroke away! :hug: :)
    Posted May 23rd 2014 at 11:13 PM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline
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