I might also write this in to HelpLINK.

The depression is still hitting hard since I graduated. I really feel like I have nothing to live for.

I applied for a job as a health aide for the city health department but I didn't get it. My sister also decided to transfer Amazon building so even when I get a start date I probably can't work there unless someone is willing to pick me up at 11 PM each night. But my mom doesn't drive at night that often and my dad wakes up early...

My anxiety and depression are ruining my life. I can't function anymore. I'm tired of being such a failure.

My learner's permit expires May 14 and I doubt I'm going to get my license before then so I might as well dump my money on going through the whole thing again.

I doubt I'll get this job. And it's difficult to find others when I refuse to work retail or food service, am not certified for other jobs I really want, and don't have a driver's license.

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First blog using my new theme. Shoutout to the person who organized this for me!

The depression has been back in varying degrees since I graduated in December. I have nothing to do. I got a job at Amazon and it's been about a month since my drug test results showed that I'm not on drugs and I got my official offer to work. However, I still haven't gotten a start date. Fortunately they email me an update every week saying that they don't have a date for me yet either because they...

I finished school on the fourteenth of December. I know that wasn't that long ago but I am already in a standstill.

I applied for three jobs. I know two of them were out of my league, but I worked at the company before so I was hoping I'd get a leg up. The other was the YMCA in my city as a front-desk person about a week or two ago and I haven't gotten a call back.

I don't know where else to apply. The local health departments around here aren't hiring, the nonprofits...

I am off my meds totally now after weaning off and the depression has already hit. I'm angry, sad, miserable. I have been having self harm urges but since it's been almost two and a half years I never have my tools on me anymore. I'm starting to think about taking them again.

I give up on learning how to drive. I accidentally hit the gas instead of the brake. We were in reverse so we reversed fast and almost went up and over a curb. I'll never get my license which means I'll never get...

I still don't know what happened to drive you to the point of needing to go the hospital and it leaves me confused. You seemed pretty fine when I was hanging out with you earlier the day before and then that night when I was at someone else's dorm and ended up throwing up there, it seems like everything broke loose. I said that I wouldn't be at breakfast because I wanted to make sure that was the last of it and you flipped out and said nobody cared about breakfast anyway, even though there are times...

So one of my best friends is bipolar and she's been pretty depressed since the semester started. She went off her meds too because they were making her feel worse and she got frustrated and all that.

It all came to a tipping point on Sunday and I'm not really sure what happened to cause it. I had thrown up in my other friend's dorm Sunday night and so I mentioned in a group chat I have with the depressed friend that I wouldn't be going to breakfast because even though I felt better...

Today was my first day of the semester, and it was so awful.

I'm on antibiotics for a small issue and I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror to find a sunburn-looking rash on my face. I haven't used that antibiotic before and haven't used anything else new so I can only assume I had an allergic reaction.

So I call my mom to freak out about that and my phone wouldn't let me make phone calls. I borrowed my roommate's phone because I wanted to catch my mom before...

I transferred my prescriptions to CVS Pharmacy. I had been using Stop & Shop, but I kept getting afraid that my parents would go in to pick up a prescription one day, either for themselves or for me, and then find out about the two that I'm on that I didn't want them to know about.

So CVS filled those two prescriptions the other day and then send me a text alert saying they were done and ready for pickup. Fine, whatever, I thought. I'll go on Friday to pick them up.

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I've been this tired, grumpy mess of a person lately who has lost a lot of enjoyment in things. I've had a lot of baseline sad lately, meaning that instead of being neutral when nothing's going on, I'm just sad or tired. I'm in bed a lot of the time at home and at school I just wish I could take a nap. But I'm muddling by.

I wish this feeling would go away though. Last night I got inducted into the Golden Key International Honor Society. It should have been happy but I was so grumpy...