Oh god. I got drunk for the first time last night. Drunk is not a good feeling, it really isn't. Buzzed is sure, but I drank on an empty stomach and drank too fast to get to that stage. I just went from sober to drunk, pretty much.

Hangover this morning was terrible. I woke up at like 5 like so nauseous and gagged but nothing came out and spent like an hour and a half on the common room couch because it was closer to the bathroom and the room is also cooler in temperature. Went back...

I saw my APRN today, E. I forgot to tell her like everything that I was supposed to tell her because I really don't like talking to her and always just want to get out of there. She seems to think my meds are working decently, and I guess I agree to some extent. I wonder what she'd have said if I told her the rest of what I was supposed to.

I saw my new counselor today too, M. I really like her so far. You know those people that you feel as if you can open up to right away? She was...

The positivity that I had felt in my last blog has faded now.

I moved back into the dorms today and classes start tomorrow. On the way back to the dorms all I could think about was dragging something sharp over my skin and seeing myself bleed. I set things up with my dad, started putting things away. All I have left to do now is get out clothes for tomorrow and put on pajamas. Had a floor meeting. Felt like it went on forever. I felt antsy, wanted to leave.

I want to...

I am feeling confident right now. I have had a LOT of depression lately so I don't know how long it will last. But hell. I am going to use this 5 AM confidence to make a blog of positive things and maybe I will look at this when I feel low as a reminder.

• I love my niece to death. She may be frustrating and tiring a lot of the time (terrible twos!) but I love her to death and she is honestly my world.
• I have friends who are very supportive. I have friends who are willing to take me to

...