I've been just feeling like shit lately. I've been stressed or overwhelmed, or I've been anxious or depressed, or even both. I've had urges to self harm which I was able to avoid doing until last night. I am losing my motivation and I just need things to be over. I just need to sleep and do nothing else but I still have so much to do until the semester ends.

I don't know what is triggering this, and honestly nothing is going wrong, I just feel like shit so I guess my meds aren't working....

The other day my mom and I were having a conversation. It started off with me talking about LGBT+ issues and how they may sometimes self harm or attempt suicide. She connected it to someone at the elementary school she works at and said that she wishes I could come in and talk to this girl about it. A fourth grader that cuts. My mom told the vice principal and she sent her to the nurse to get everything cleaned. But I guess some of the students were telling my mom that she has them color on her...

I'm tired of feeling like this. Starting to wonder if I should call my APRN and try to get an earlier appointment.

I'm always feeling so heavy and stressed and overwhelmed and ugh. Just generally blah. I'd rather be curled up in bed and just not doing anything. I keep really wanting to cut.

And when I have energy and when I'm in a good mood, boy is it extreme. I seriously couldn't stand still for the life of me the other day after the Drag Ball, I was so pumped....

I am a walking contradiction right now.

I have motivation to do so well but then no motivation to actually make the effort. I am so lazy.

I feel good but yet feel bad.

I feel like a failure currently because I feel like I am sinking lower and lower with things that should be so important to me.

I want to cut again. My sister's puppy has sharp little nails and is also teething meaning she likes chewing on people. She scratched me a few...