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Tired of lying. (Trig in spots)
Posted June 15th 2016 at 11:06 PM by Face Up.
I transferred my prescriptions to CVS Pharmacy. I had been using Stop & Shop, but I kept getting afraid that my parents would go in to pick up a prescription one day, either for themselves or for me, and then find out about the two that I'm on that I didn't want them to know about.
So CVS filled those two prescriptions the other day and then send me a text alert saying they were done and ready for pickup. Fine, whatever, I thought. I'll go on Friday to pick them up.
I wake up today and my mom tells me I have to call CVS' pharmacy. I also happen to WORK at the pharmacy, so I thought it was about that. But no, she said that CVS called and said that I have prescriptions ready to be picked up. I forgot that when I was little we did use CVS a few times so they'd have my number on file.
Shit, shit. But somehow my mom, instead of thinking they were my prescriptions, thought that somehow someone was using my name to fill a prescription or that the pharmacy messed up somehow. So I went with that. Went upstairs and called CVS and asked them to delete my home phone number from their record and then told my mom that they're looking into it. CVS said they deleted it. When I go to the pharmacy Friday not only do I have to update my insurance information (holy god the prices without insurance are very sad) but I also will confirm that they did, in fact, delete it.
She probably told my dad that happened and I was there when she told my sister it happened. I work at CVS Pharmacy and I felt more comfortable with lying and making the pharmacy look bad than I did with just admitting I'm on medication.
I'm so tired of lying. I'm so tired of having to make up excuses and go to great lengths to hide my medication, my therapy, and my mental illness. The reason I hide it is because my parents have been very unsupportive in the past and I don't want to open that can of worms again.
But it's so shitty. My friends have to take me to the pharmacy and if I mention I spent money I have to pretend that my friend and I went to lunch to account for the money loss, because obviously I can't say I had to go to the pharmacy. And my friends having to bring me makes me worry because what if they're too busy to take me? And what am I going to do soon when my main friend who lives in my city has her baby and can no longer take me? I guess I can walk in the summer if I tell my mom I'm going out with a friend and then figure out what to do to kill a few hours. But it's about two miles away.
Tired of worrying they'll walk in on me taking my medication or open a compartment in my bookbag and see it.
But I have no choice.
I've also been wondering lately if I've shown signs of mental illness all my life. I've been a perfectionist to a fault, by that I mean that if I do slightly bad I've always gotten upset and cried. I've always been scared to stick up for myself and been scared to approach adults and ask questions, etc. When I was in Pre-K or Kindergarten my Pepere couldn't pick me up anymore because he was old, but I thought it was because I was fat and so I stopped eating and dropped a considerable amount of weight. I had to go to the doctor every other week for weigh ins for a while. I don't know if any of that is significant or shows anything though.
CVS, my job, has been driving me up a wall too. When I say I've gotten no hours, I mean I've literally gotten no hours. I had on the job training in another city on the 8th. I haven't worked since. I finally got four hours on Friday the 17th... Then yesterday I get a text from someone asking if I can work a store in a different city for two days. No, I can't because I can't get transportation, but why am I not getting hours in my OWN STORE?! Starting to get really pissed off.
On the bright side, if all goes well I should be getting my tattoo on the 22nd!
So CVS filled those two prescriptions the other day and then send me a text alert saying they were done and ready for pickup. Fine, whatever, I thought. I'll go on Friday to pick them up.
I wake up today and my mom tells me I have to call CVS' pharmacy. I also happen to WORK at the pharmacy, so I thought it was about that. But no, she said that CVS called and said that I have prescriptions ready to be picked up. I forgot that when I was little we did use CVS a few times so they'd have my number on file.
Shit, shit. But somehow my mom, instead of thinking they were my prescriptions, thought that somehow someone was using my name to fill a prescription or that the pharmacy messed up somehow. So I went with that. Went upstairs and called CVS and asked them to delete my home phone number from their record and then told my mom that they're looking into it. CVS said they deleted it. When I go to the pharmacy Friday not only do I have to update my insurance information (holy god the prices without insurance are very sad) but I also will confirm that they did, in fact, delete it.
She probably told my dad that happened and I was there when she told my sister it happened. I work at CVS Pharmacy and I felt more comfortable with lying and making the pharmacy look bad than I did with just admitting I'm on medication.
I'm so tired of lying. I'm so tired of having to make up excuses and go to great lengths to hide my medication, my therapy, and my mental illness. The reason I hide it is because my parents have been very unsupportive in the past and I don't want to open that can of worms again.
But it's so shitty. My friends have to take me to the pharmacy and if I mention I spent money I have to pretend that my friend and I went to lunch to account for the money loss, because obviously I can't say I had to go to the pharmacy. And my friends having to bring me makes me worry because what if they're too busy to take me? And what am I going to do soon when my main friend who lives in my city has her baby and can no longer take me? I guess I can walk in the summer if I tell my mom I'm going out with a friend and then figure out what to do to kill a few hours. But it's about two miles away.
Tired of worrying they'll walk in on me taking my medication or open a compartment in my bookbag and see it.
But I have no choice.
I've also been wondering lately if I've shown signs of mental illness all my life. I've been a perfectionist to a fault, by that I mean that if I do slightly bad I've always gotten upset and cried. I've always been scared to stick up for myself and been scared to approach adults and ask questions, etc. When I was in Pre-K or Kindergarten my Pepere couldn't pick me up anymore because he was old, but I thought it was because I was fat and so I stopped eating and dropped a considerable amount of weight. I had to go to the doctor every other week for weigh ins for a while. I don't know if any of that is significant or shows anything though.
CVS, my job, has been driving me up a wall too. When I say I've gotten no hours, I mean I've literally gotten no hours. I had on the job training in another city on the 8th. I haven't worked since. I finally got four hours on Friday the 17th... Then yesterday I get a text from someone asking if I can work a store in a different city for two days. No, I can't because I can't get transportation, but why am I not getting hours in my OWN STORE?! Starting to get really pissed off.
On the bright side, if all goes well I should be getting my tattoo on the 22nd!
Total Comments 1
Comments
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It's odd that since you're now working there they still had your old number on file and not had gotten rid of it with your updated info. Hopefully they have taken care of it and you won't have to worry about it in the future. I hope that you'll eventually be able to tell them what is going on and then move on from it after.
From what you've mentioned it does sound like you have shown signs of mental illness from an early age and I do think that what you mentioned is significant and if you haven't brought this up to a therapist, etc...I would suggest it and I feel it could aid more in your overall recovery.
I would strongly suggest talking to the manager of your store or at least someone high up and just tell them your availability and transportation issues. They should then be able to make sure you only work at that store and hopefully you can start getting more hours over time.
I hope all goes well on the 22nd. :)Posted June 15th 2016 at 11:22 PM by Thereishope
